Better know a Treaty ….TTIP Edition
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Better know a Treaty ….TTIP Edition

November 16, 2019

I�m gonna make him an offer he can�t refuse This is better know a Treaty (can change to
agreement if funnier.) There is no world anymore it�s only corporations A few months back the E.U. sought to tackle
one of societys biggest dangers � Poweful hoovers � (duh duh sound effect). And despite
riots on an unprecedented scale in support of hoovers � (hoover demonstration) �the
E.U. managed to successfully block the sale of a range of hoovers. Now while this hoover ban clearly sucks (badoomdum
ching sound effect) the E.U. have got together with their friends stateside and with a few
hundred corporate lobbyists to go after just about every other freedom and product (image
including more hoovers) that average people value, in the form of a special new treaty
efficiently nicknamed TTIP Yep TTIP, or the Translantic Trade and Investment
Partnership has been designed by business for business, with its promoters who of course
have no self-financial interest in the proceedings at all, hailing it as a milestone for �Free
Trade.� Now putting aside how well Free Trade treaties
seem to have worked so far for or the fact that for all intensive purposes free trade
already exists the Transatlantic trade and investment treaty is so special as it comes
with the following added bonuses: Bonus 1 Sound effect � The removal of safety
regulations first up TTIP would do away with all those
pesky regulatory trade barriers for big business. You know things like food safety laws which
govern how much horse is in our meat or how many hormones a chicken can be injected with,
or the environmental laws which stop people fracking in your back in your garden or dictate
how much chlorine can be in your water � all of them would be gone � which would be great
for business but not so great for the working man. TTIP would also answer the calls of every
non-banker in the world by scraping a series of Bank regulations. Now while there are very
few reasons to distrust banks � cut to banks causing crash � well apart from that, and
I guess the other countless times they�ve destroyed the economy the TTIP treaty will
ensure that the regulations imposed on U.S. banks following the last financial crash will
be scrapped and instead thE U.S. will have to abide by banking regulations within the
U.K. which are much softer than those stateside as they don�t actually exist. We can thank
our Gideon for that. Still the scrapping of these pretty basic
regulations which has been described as a �bit Shit� by governmental figures and
has the power to destroy lives is being done with the aim of tearing open pubic services
to big business for privatisation {Stamp}. Bonus 2 Sound effect � The privatisation
of public services. Now while the privatisation of the U.K.�s
energy, train, postal, travel agents banks, airways, buses, stationery, student loans
(3 separate times), and almost everything else including the family china are great
examples of the terrible effects of privatisation, the TTIP treaty would open up the rest of
the UK�s and other European countries remaining public services to for-profit firms. {sold}. Now while selling off essential public services
to the highest bidder � or the lowest bidder if it�s done in tower hamlets doesn�t
sound like a great idea, especially when you consider that the NHS, will be up for grabs
according to our very own UK Trade Minister lord Livingston, It is worth noting that the French have managed
to successfully exempt their “cultural industries” including the film and adult film industries
from the TTIP treaty – viva la resistance �so i�m sure we can all take comfort in
knowing that the U.K�s leaders will, as they always do, ensure that the British people
come first and that important services are protected, even if many of them do have financial
stakes in private healthcare companies looking to buy up the NHS. We�re boned Anyway TTIP, which has been compared to signing
up to Itunes except with more terms and conditions, will also allow US and EU business groups
and lobbyists to screen and amend legislation. Bonus 3 � Allowing business and lobbyists
to amend legislation This change which corporations have been after
for a number of years could result in the trustworthy banks dictating financial laws,
tobacco companies dictating cigarette packaging and even selected dairy companies dictating
whether they believe something is or is not butter. It would also help do away with pesky
workers� rights and wage laws and allow businesses to influence laws that would affect
social, environmental and consumer standards before any elected official even knew these
laws were coming. There�s also the lowering of standards that
this treaty would enforce [4]. Bonus 4 � the lowering of standards. You see while Europeans currently have higher
environmental standards and Americans have higher food safety standards the TTIP treaty
would mean blanket industry standards are applied or harmonised as the treaty puts it
to every industry in both continents. Except in a crafty little manoeuvre the lobbyists
have managed to swindle it so that the lowest standards and regulations will be the ones
applied. So where the Europeans may have fought over
a long period of time to achieve strict environmental rules, these will now be lowered to the Americans
standards {whistle sound effect}. And where the americans have higher bank regulations
and food standards these will be lowered to the Europeans standards. [whistle]. Similarly whilst Europeans may have stricter
quotas regarding what constitutes an obese person these will be lowered to the americans
standards and whilst americans may have stricter standards regarding dental practices, these
too will be lowered to European standards. Yep nasty, however proponents have claimed
that sacrificing these things to get ttip would be worth it as the EUs economy would
benefit by a whopping 119 Billion euros a year, the US economy would benefit by �95
Billion a year and each family would receive at least 545 euros each with millions of jobs,
which will of course be well paid, being created in both continents. Ch-ching sound effect. However as E.U. officials have done on countless
previous occasions, most notably when creating the Euro, it would appear that they have once
again badly got there sums wrong. With an independent study revealing that any benefits
will not be felt until 13 years after the deal is signed and only if significant amendments
are made to the treaty. It also turns out that there will be next to no economic benefit
with the economic gains for ordinary people not amounting to 450 euros a year but giving
instead giving them enough to purchase an extra coffee once every decade (sound effect),
so long as the coffee does not include milk or sugar. It also turns out that the promised jobs won�t
ever materialise, and in fact TTIP will actually cause unemployment to rise as jobs switch
to the U.S. where labour standards, wages and union rights are lower. With E.U. members
having already been advised, despite the treaty yet to be signed and predictions that it will
create millions of jobs, to draw on the European support funds to compensate. In fact a quick glance at a similar treaty,
designed in secret by lobbyists, shows that Free Trade agreements are detrimental to job
creation, with the North American Free Trade Agreement, which was given the nice abbreviation
NAFTA causing the loss of 1 million jobs in the States over 12 years instead of delivering
the thousands of job promised. And as a War on Want Executive eloquently
put it: The TTIP treaty is an assault on European
and US societies by transnational corporations. Harsh words. However criticism of the treaty
and its potential negative impact has not gone unnoticed with a leading advocate of
the treaty Karel De Gucht responding to critics by saying �Meh � Ttip will still go through� And Du Gucht should know as she�s been one
of the few people who�ve actually been involved in the meetings as the entire thing has been
conducted in silence away from elected officials, with both the European Parliament and the
U.S. senate and congress having been left out of the negotiations. And of the elected 751 MEP�s only a handful
will be allowed to view it and they will have to do so in a �secured Reading Room (harry
potter room)� which can only be accessed by a secret password. In fact of the meetings that have occurred
in Europe to thrash out this treaty, 93% of the meetings have been with business groups
and across the pond in the states 85% of the meetings have involved a corporation. Alongside this the chief E.U. Negotiator has
blocked the release of any documents relating to the deal for the next 30 years, and have
also shut down a series of citizen initiative led protests against the treaty, which combined
with the recent switch to a majority voting system could see the U.K. or any other E.U.
country have the treaty forced upon them. With one anonymous negotiator saying: These discussions have to be secret, if they
weren�t people would never accept them. Now while this secrecy element of the treaty
combined with everything else it would do surely means that while it is living up to
the treaty�s own motto of: – we�re not just doing this for money, we�re doing this
for a shit load of money � it will be absolutely destructive for society. However luckily for all of us the lobbyists
and individuals behind the TTIP treaty saved the best till last, announcing not one but
two new amendments to help make it that bit fairer. Bonus round
bong The first of these new amendments is the investor
state dispute settlements clause. (sound effect). This clause which has been described as a
get out of jail free (see if monopoly audio exists) allows corporations to sue �goverments
if they introduce anything that might affect their profits � such as increasing the minimum
wage, or a living wage, or saying you can�t work 23 hours a day those kind of things.
The investor state dispute settlement would also allow companies and banks to completely
bypass the UK legal system and sue whoever they wanted in secret tribunals and It would
also prevent any future re-nationalisation of any services, despite 70% of the british
taxpaying public wanting the trains and energy companies to be re-renationalised and 92%
wanting the NHS to be a national run service as the companies with private interests in
these companies could sue for Billions. In fact a number of other countries, including
our good friends argentina have already been sued under similar treaties for hurting corporations
with Bolivia and their presidente Evo Morales being one of the few countries to stand up
to and defeat a similar lawsuit, when they renationalised their water system and were
sued for $50 million by the private water company Bechetel. But instead of paying the
$50 million and bending over for Bechtel, the Bolivian leaders instead issued the following
statement fuck off and instead ended up paying them just 2 pesos.
Somehow I doubt our leaders will have the balls to do something similar.
The second amendment of the glourious TTIP Treaty is the mode 4 immigration clause.
Bonus amendment 2 � Mode 4 immigration Despite sounding like something that will
see people rounded up and placed in camps, this clause essentially allows companies and
corporations to transfer workers across borders in a process similar to outsourcing.
But instead of moving the factory to a cheaper less paid location you move the cheaper workers
to the factory. Meaning that all those workers who demand
the minimum wage can be replaced by people who may or may not be paid 62p an hour to
make a protest t-shirt for a millionaire. which will undoubtedly drive down the value
of labour and see your average worker suffer. [ding ding]
So there we have it a few quick reasons and amendments why the TTIP treaty will threaten
pretty much every decent aspect of an average working life, and while the impact of this
treaty can be compared to this: nuclear blast Video.
It�s worth better knowing that should the TTIP treaty successfully scrap decent rules
and regulations, tear open public services for privatisation, allow corporations to screen
legislation and lower standards, as well as give corporations to right to sue governments
and take control of immigration and wage policies then not only will a large number of British
People find themselves without a choice as to which furture corporation governs them
or be without work and a decent standard of living in the future,
but more worryingly should the TTIP treaty go through then this government and all the
untold suffering they�ve inflicted on vulnerable people will be referred to as �glory days�
So while the TTIP treaty is the obvious result of allowing them to ban hoovers and toasters
if you fancy fighting back a little bit to stop this treaty there�s a petition and
campaign from the folks at citizens� initiative who have already been shut down twice already
by the E.U. that you can get involved in (image and annotation says petition and chuck it
in about) Viva la resistance.

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