Dave Chappelle Pulls Off An Impossible Punchline | Netflix Is A Joke
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Dave Chappelle Pulls Off An Impossible Punchline | Netflix Is A Joke

September 11, 2019


– I actually write jokes backwards. I will write a punchline with
no particular set-up in mind. I just put it on a scrap of paper, and I’ll throw that scrap
of paper in my fishbowl. I have a fishbowl in my house
filled with random punchlines, and every once in a while
I’ll shake the bowl, and I’ll dig in there
and just pull one out and see if I can make that shit work. And I picked one for this special. It’s not an easy punchline to pull off. Are you ready? – [Audience] Yeah! – Here it goes, the punchline is “So I kicked her in the pussy.” (laughing) I haven’t finished the joke yet. (laughing) I just know whatever happens
in the beginning of the joke, at the end of the joke, for some reason, I’m gonna kick somebody in the pussy. And it’s going to be hilarious. When I was growing up, I was
probably about 8 years old, and at the time we were
living in Silver Spring. My parents did just well enough so that I could grow up
poor around white people. (laughing) And to be honest, when Nas and them talk about the projects,
nigga, I used to get jealous. Because it sounded fun, everybody
in the projects was poor. And that’s fair, but if you
were poor in Silver Spring, nigga, it felt like it
was only happening to you. (laughing) Nas does not know the pain (laughing) of that first sleepover
at a white friend’s house. (laughing) You come home on Sunday and
just look at your parents like. Y’all need to step your game up. (laughing) Everything at Timmy’s house works. Timmy was one of my first white friends like in my life, man. And one day I was at his house, we were just hanging out, and Timmy says “Dave, why don’t you
stay for dinner tonight?” I said, “Oh, man, I’d love to but I can’t. “If I’m not home before dark,
my mother will kill me.” That was a lie. (laughing) My mother had several
jobs, I hadn’t seen her in like three or four days. (laughing) And the only reason I lied to Timmy, was because at the point in my life, it was my experience that
white dinner wasn’t delicious. (laughing) I’d rather go home and fry some balogna or some shit like that. (laughing) But then old Timmy threw me a
curve ball I wasn’t expecting. He said, “Well it’s too bad
you can’t stay Dave, cause Mom “made Stove Top stuffing.” I said, “What the fuck, Stove Top? Well hold on nigga, let me make some phone calls real quick.” (laughing) I had seen that commercial so many times I had dreamt of getting my hands on some of that Stove Top stuffing. (laughing) And finally I met a
motherfucker that actually had a box of Stove Top in the house, I couldn’t miss this opportunity, so I pretended to call my mother. And then I came back and
I said “Timmy, Timmy, “you’re not gonna
believe this, great news. Mom said I can stay.” And he said, “Fantastic!” He said, “Why don’t you come with me, “and we’ll help set the table
and we can say the blessing.” I had no interest in setting
this motherfucker’s table, or saying these crazy ass Mormon prayers. I just wanted that goddamn stuffing! (laughing) So I told Timmy, I said, “You
know what, I’d love to help, “but let me go wash my hands first.” My plan was simple, wash my hands slowly, and by the time I’m done,
the table will be set, the blessing will be said, and all that there will be left to do is eat. (laughing) Went to the bathroom, I
washed my hands very slowly. I must’ve been in there
for about 10 minutes. (laughing) And suddenly, one of his
mothers came to the door. (laughing) She was like, “Hi, David, right?” I said, “Yes, ma’am.” She said, “Timmy tells me that you’re “planning on staying for dinner.” I said, “I hope that’s
not a problem, ma’am.” She says, “No, it’s no
problem, in fact we’d love “to have you, it’s just that
we weren’t expecting company, “and I’m afraid there’s not enough Stove Top stuffing for everybody.” So I kicked her in the pussy. Bam! Ladies and gentleman. (upbeat lounge music)

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  1. Cant believe nobody noticed the reference here. The punchline "i kicked her in the pussy" sounds similar to the infamous line "grab em by the pussy" by Trump while talking about the experience as a famous person sleeping with many women. The reason why he jokes about that is the lime sounds horrible taken out of the context. And many people especially the third wave feminists claim that the sentence was sexist on so many levels. But the reality is that no matter if you are a man or woman, everybody tries to brag about that kind of situation. Everybody talks to their group of friends trying to seem extraordinarily attractive and highly wanted.

  2. Masterful genius….dave Chappelle, andrew dice clay,Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, and red fox all time favorites

  3. I'd love to see a future contest between different comedians on who can pull off the best punchline. Winner gets Stove Top Stuffing.

  4. Now I'm starting to understand why they are called MORmons.
    They want MORe wives and MORe food.
    Cause all they had to do was give up 1 heaping Tablespoon of Stovetop Stuffing each(Dad,kid, 2 wives) for at least 4 heaping Tbls for 8 year old Dave.
    #greedybitches

    Also they culturally appropriated the Jamaicans speech: We want More Man(English)= MorMon(Jamaican)
    😀

  5. First time I watched the special I had totally missed his comment about his friend being Mormon so when he said "one of his mothers" I thought he meant he had 2 lesbian moms.

  6. I thought this was the funniest ending to a comedy show until I watched his latest special. Good Lord this man can tell a joke.

  7. i JUST found out that Vice & Vox are "outraged" over this. Lemme say somethin right quick: @Dave/whoever uploaded this: THANK YOU. i don't have a pc or netflix. This was funny as hell ! The stories abt MJ were hilarious, my gf from hs LOVES Mike, and couldn't help but to laugh, and as one of ALLLLL those ppl who had that creepy step-dad, you're right: He wasn't MJ! πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’€πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…βœŒπŸ’—

  8. Love Dave…His voice is starting to sounds like a 79 year old cigar smoker tho, lol. Must be toking on some BANGIN WEED!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ’¨πŸ’¨

  9. They act like two legends cannot co exist … why ya’ll love comparing people?? Let the mans be great πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

  10. That "white people dinners wasn't delicious" hit the nail on the head. I grew up in a shitty/poor family and most dinners were garbage, and when going to my rich friends' house they would have their meals with shit like green beans. Never been more glad to be able to pay for my own damn meals, the only struggle is trying to lose the weight I put on afterwards.

  11. I was 31 yrs old, when my co-worker asked me if I wanted to eat some soul food, in Hearne Texas, at the Blue Light Cafe. I said sure. Little did I know, I was in for a great disappointment, it was nothing new. It was all the foods my grandmother fed me as a child in Muleshoe Texas. And yes it was delicious, as white food. And then I kicked the cat.

  12. I was watching this on the train and laughing so much people thought I was having a mental break Down πŸ₯΅πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸŽ­

  13. Meanwhile in reality …. The black race can't cook and neverhave been able to and. Literally stole southern creole Cajun Caucasian style food and cooking and called it soul food. #BlackPeopleWillSayAnythingToSeemCool lmfao pathetic race.

  14. 1983's "Bill Cosby, Himself" was the most transcendentally funny 100 minutes in the history of modern comedy.

    Not ONE "motherfucker"; not one "bitch"; not one "white v. black".

    Cosby was a millionaire when a million dollars was a lot of money.
    Yet I'm supposed to believe that he had to DRUG cunts for sex?
    Hmmmmmm.

  15. Coming from a left wing progressive and a Bernie supporter, it cringey me tf out that these far left clowns (young Turks) on YT to debate rather or not, Dave jokes are "offensive" lmfaoooo

  16. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣Fuck πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  17. When your a white girl from the projects and you can relate but you know no ones gonna think that's valid cause you a lil white girl

  18. I grew up in the projects
    Queens (with my mom) and Bronx then lived in Jersey and Philly for a couple of months (with my dad) .
    My dad taught me the value of money, my siblings taught me it's okay to spend money .

    I didn't grow up religious I'm agnostic, my grandparents are religious so now living down south I just look around like πŸ‘€πŸ˜³

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