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  1. Exquisite presentation and content as always. Your point at the end about victims of narcissists having support on the internet also has a flip side. So-called social media predictably enough has fomented a lot of very self-absorbed people. I wonder how many become full-blown, game-playing narcissists. Given the growing infantilisation of people, and "reality" shows essentially pushing the admiration and mimicry of the self-absorbed tantrum-throwing rejects such shows attract (as if they were somehow "role models"), I suspect that the two effects (not growing up + self-absorption) combined would have a higher outcome of full-blown narcissistic behaviour than either one in isolation.

    Picking up on your points about religious groups, this also seems to have fed into new dogmatism of the "progressives" and their witch-hunt mentality. Identify the "witch", and demand an apology for their alleged behaviour or thought crime. Any apology is simply a confession for which there is punishment (unless you are Justin Trudeau it seems). Fail to apologise and you're still guilty merely by the allegation. Due process be damned. That said, since there is nothing to be gained by apologising to the inquisition, not apologising still seems to give the better outcome from what I can make out.

  2. It should be said that you shouldn't dismiss someone as a narcissistic just because you feel like they've trapped you in a double bind once or twice. Double binds can arise from the other persons indecisiveness or your own failure to understand what they really want from them. Narcissists on the other hand will constantly try to double bind you and go out of their way to do so.

  3. Good video………but tons in Hollywood were (and still are) communist and socialist. They shouldn't be jailed for it, but they should be identified by the populace.

  4. LOVE your vids – but one thing you got badly wrong, and I say this sincerely to be helpful:

    You were very wrong on the McCarthy issue. McCarthy did not even get into the Senate and begin his hearings until the 1950's – but you mention him, and then mention the HUAC hearings, when McCarthy was not even in office.

    Also – it turns out McCarthy was right.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wljpYZ8wejA&t=6s

  5. FFS, there's always way out of these situations. #1 is you call your accuser out and don't play their game the way they want it played. You flip it back on them and keep doing it until they give up on their quest.

    In the 80's and 90's we had the retarded puritanical fundamentalists of the otherwise decent conservative christian right false judging everyone by biblical standards they themselves utterly failed to live up to. Fastest and most effective way to shut them up ws to simply call them out on their game using their own rule book and pseudo religious/dogmatic interpretations of it against them.

    Same goes today with the now far left and their same hypocritical hyper judgmental pseudo religion and tactics. Just fold their own game over and push it back in their faces until they shut up and that's all there is to it. They escalate (Double down), you counter escalate the pushed back using theri rules of engagement against them.

    You never apologize for something they imagined and you never 'turn the other cheek ' and walk away. You stand your ground and you make them burn themselves out with their own double standards based proud stupidity then you beat them over the head with reality and kick them in the ass when they leave. To do anything else is to let them win and ultimately take more of what is rightfully yours and not and should never be theirs.

  6. I was put in a double bind by my ex for 3 years, I was trapped while she was able to go off and fuck other people and be a drug addict and do anything she wanted but I had literally nothing but her because she got me kicked out, lost me all my friends, my job, all my income. She made me truly believe there was no possible way I could make it without her, while staying with her also fucked me over. I wasn't allowed to have friends, talk to people on social media, like other people's pictures, I wasn't allowed to go somewhere without her, I wasn't allowed privacy. And when I eventually left after blowing up from all the pent up shit for years, she faked her own death and had someone call me to tell me she died. The lie went on for 6 months before someone saw her in public and I got told and she just laughed about it joking about how she's not actually dead. This was a very informative video, I appreciate the time you took to make this.

  7. Now where have I seen "kafka traps" before? Oh yeah, when atheists make arguments:
    Atheist: If God exists where's the physical evidence?
    Reason: Ok, well, God's not physical, but here's the only way matter could be used as evidence for God.
    Atheist: There can't be physical evidence for God!

  8. 8:19 Yet another atheist angry with his parents irrationally connecting his abuse to God and religion. There is no logical connection of course, but there is a psychological and relational connection which is exactly why Christians call God "father." in the first place. Once again, we see the "daddy in the sky" mockery turned on it's head when atheists with "daddy issues" are the one's rejecting theism because of what daddy did, or did not do. (or in this case mommy). There are no rational atheists; there's only people angry at their parents.

  9. 9:50 "So much for lent" he sneers. This judgment of his parent is key in his and all atheists rejection of God when they are young. You will ALWAYS find judgment with atheists; it's the religion of condemnation. I observed it when I was 14 and decided to believe in God with my best friend of the same age who decided not to believe in God. He was infatuated with the hypocrisy of adults as a justification for his beliefs. Once again, their is NO rational connection here, but in the mind of the atheist is a deep sense of injustice in their own history, and in the history of the world as a whole, and it's that sense of injustice that motivates their anger against God, not any rational arguments. The rational arguments are just a cover they later create, and apparently for Theramin, an entire life of psychology to boot.

  10. "Narcissists" don't exist; only narcissistic behaviors exist with different people at different times within a given relationship, often in the person claiming to be the target of a "narcissist."

  11. A narcissist put irritants, toxins, polutants and allergens in my car and in my environment both literally and figuratively. They were desperate for the emotional reaction and something they could try to use against me, but I didn't give them what they wanted AND I defended myself….so they lied about me, hacked my devices, destroyed 3 of them, hacked into several accounts and assumed my identity, did actual identity fraud on documents. Stupid, jealous, hateful and desperate to look better than they feel. Can't grow up, can't own up and can't be real.

  12. …and the story of his mother's rages and fathers death confirms yet another messed up atheist. Why is it atheists never come from emotionally healthy places? Could their atheism be an attempt to heal something? But why would we ask rational questions? We should all just "feelz" bad and blame religion for his judgment of his mother's pain.

    Someone's atheism is always about these personal stories of pain, not rational arguments. I have empathy for this, but when they try to cover that pain by abusing science, logic, and rational inquiry is when I have a problem because that's dishonesty that affects the rest of the world.

  13. Atheism ALWAYS comes from some injustice experienced in childhood. It's predictable, boring, and this guy has thousands fooled that his story is objective, instead of realizing all he did was judge his mother's pain and instead of having empathy for it he decided God didn't exist.

  14. For me it was a now ex-wife. Agreed to do half of a job then yelled at me the next day for not doing her half. Could never see her own double standards and when pointed out to her that she did have them it was cause for her to start yelling at me for even seeing them let alone pointing them out to her. Could never just talk to her about these issues. As much as I tried to remain calm and rational it was usually she that started yelling at me even when it was she that said we needed to talk about it. I know I'm not completely blameless about some things. There were bad habits that I had, that she hated, that needed changing but when I asked for her help in changing them she refused to help me with them. She wanted them changed but when asked for help she refused to help. It was just another means of control to her, just another way to get what she wanted (which was for us to fight so she could have an "excuse" to cheat on me). Took me years to get to the point where I felt good enough to even think about dating again, only problem is that I'm at an age and in a situation where it's almost impossible for me to find anybody that is able and willing to date at all.

  15. I've been trapped with my half-sister double-my-age narcissist for a month when I moved backed to the US by myself.
    I'll preface this by saying this will likely be long, I've literally written an essay about it a couple of weeks ago. (On the topic of ingrained fear)

    I'm someone who's reactions are extremely slow and tend to thoroughly think through what is said, specially if unclear, before responding. This exasperated my sister as she claimed a slow reaction is the sign of dishonesty. This would not be entirely false, because the only way I found to effectively deal with her was to be disingenuous: I would take on a fabricated persona, one with weak points she could exploit without harming my actual self. One that would use her own faulty logic (to a degree that would humor my actual self as she did not notice the faults in the chain of logic) to build conclusions she would agree with. One that would build a false progression in its relationship with her as the countdown toward being able to flee got closer to the day my mother would return to the US too. (all while being fully aware this was deliberate counter-manipulation to survive)

    Having passed through that, and made thoughts of that time fuzzy by design had made me forget how futile it was to deal directly with narcissists. I'm very literal in nature, something escaping reason is ungraspable to me and reading all these examples all the while remembering how she would continue upon them was difficult.

    A stubborn, naive part of me still tries to find reason within her, casting doubt on my decision of permanently cutting contact with her. Thank you for consolidating why I shouldn't try dealing with a narcissist, even if it made me recall additional details I didn't want to.

    And thank you for explaining these topics so thoroughly; you are creating a very valuable resource with your videos.

  16. They do this kind of mental abuse intentionally in the military. I saw a classic "What do you have to say for yourself?" then "SHUT UP!" when the black kid tried to answer. Happened in the mess hall.

  17. That parable of the man waiting next to the gatekeeper reminds me of how Spinel waited for Pink, and only after 6000 years of waiting did she realize that Pink never had any intention of coming back for her, and in fact, had played a cruel game with her.

  18. Reminds me of living with a guy who wanted to share his food. At first he said eat anything you want, and then he carried on to insinuate that only a person who didn't care about someone else they were living with would eat all of their food by using someone else who did do that as a bad example. He did a lot of gaslighting and I gather love-bombing is another one that just involves randomly showing a lot of affection. It really was a mind fuck. I ended up yelling at him and moving out of the house in 5 weeks. He had me so angry I could have physically attacked him. He also had a habit of standing way to close to me as a way of extorting physical dominance and he started touching my face as if to initiate sex. That was when I left. From now on I don't want to get to know any former homeless or former physical or sexual abuse victims. They often turn around and become abusers, and anyone who opens a relationship by announcing that they were physically abused is not someone who's gotten over it yet.

  19. You know, I love that your channel is moving away religion. I feel like that subject's been beaten to death in this decade, and your attack instead on deep rooted personality traits is such fantastic content

  20. Consider a manipulator who makes semi-frequent use of double binds, enough to induce anxiety in the target, but, at random intervals, rewards the target's appeasing behavior. Skinner discovered that this randomness would slow the "extinction rate" of a trained behavior when it wasn't rewarded frequently.

  21. Exit or not exit the EU and impeach or not impeach Trump, examples of double binds presented by master manipulators.

  22. I bet this felt good to make. I hear u loud n clear man. I got one but it's my mother In law. It hurts to see how she is to her family. I hope you feel free of your moms bs or atleast it doesn't hurt as much now.

  23. Look at me when im talking to you its disrespectful if you don't, don't look me in the eyes its disrespectful, so either way if you look at the floor or don't look at the floor you're on the recieving end of an explosive outburst of anger

  24. I had friend(not really) that's full narcissist and I every time I could see right through his mind games. If my look was words I'd be like "Dude, you're not smart. And guys plz just don't listen what he has to say". He was like the only person that I really wanted to punch every time I saw.

  25. This hits hard. As I watched, I thought about examples of what I now believe to be double binds done by others in my life, and the harm they have caused. It even got me thinking about whether I could have put anyone else in a double bind situation before. I'm really glad I watched this. You've earned a sub.

  26. Relax yall… we all have narcissistic qualities. They just vary in levels.
    Once you pass a threshold though… then you're def a narc.
    But just because you have maybe 1 quality, you're not a bad person!

  27. This video, and reading some comments has made me paranoid of these situations in my own life. I will look for them but i don''t know if finding them will bring me any satisfaction or happiness. I'm a minor, and i feel worried despite not suffering any abuse my entire life. Heh, maybe i'm just overreacting.

  28. Who are the 196 that didn’t like the video ?? And why ?! What possible reason to dislike it? They couldn’t be possibly self aware narcissists, those don’t exist as far as I know ..

  29. My cousin is like this. He asks you to do one thing and then don’t do it. He’ll be nice one minute and then be an asshole. It’s ridiculous. I kept going back and trying to fix something that wasn’t my problem. I’ve cut him off for awhile now and I don’t think I’ll be seeing him for a good amount of time.

  30. a lot of this double bind stuff sounds like internet arguments… if you agree with some of people's points, they call you out for not changing your outlook because of your agreement… but when you disagree, they call you out for having a different opinion and accuse you of whatever they want

  31. You need to be objective with narcissists. Remove yourself from this equation. You are dealing with a petulant child, always. State only facts. Do not let them have control. Do not play their games. Do not allow them to abuse. Lay down your boundaries and stick to them. Know yourself. The grey rock method is not useful. They need to be confronted with their truth and only the truth. Everyone needs to be firm on this point together. This person doesn't know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone, pity them. Understand that they dont know better. Do not allow yourself to be abused.

  32. This video just helped me clearly understand why I became such a control freak over my own autonomy, even to my own detriment. Thank you!
    My mother is a malignant narcissist. I am 45 and still trying to recover, clearly. The inability for me to give up any length of control has become extremely bothersome as my health declines. I don’t even know how to ask for or accept help. It is a faux determination. When I do absolutely have to ask for or accept help it feels as a failure.

    My own upbringing mirrors your own. Frighteningly similar. My mother still does the same things. The biggest regret is how she turned my sister and I against each other. My sister died unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm during a time she and I weren’t on speaking terms. My sister was the favored one and really became my mom’s mini me. My mother ruined quite a few familial relationships and convinced people of things about me that just weren’t true. I would freely admit my sins, but was told I was a liar and the lies repeated. Hell. My childhood was hell. My father died in ‘05, also unexpectedly. I am thankful for the time he and I would talk as he sat up all night unable to sleep after heart surgery.

    Thank you deeply for this video.

  33. What McCarthy did wasn't a witch hunt.
    We see the results of socialists enemies within, today.
    People have lost common sense.
    Check Yuri Bezmenov interview.

  34. V Nice video. One thing. A very small thing. A tiny thing. But it is a pet peeve of mine. Disorientated is not a word. The word is actually disoriented. Carry-on and God bless. ☺️👍🏼

  35. my mother in-law was the abuser, luck for father in-law she died first, and now my wife can have the type relationship with her father she never had before, one she found hard to except at first, she just couldn't believe life could be this easy.

  36. 14:41 I think the only one who successfully made it through a witch trial was Giles Corey, he was crushed to death, but he didn't confess or deny. While the ones in the wrong were the persecutors.. victims should never be blamed for just trying to stay alive.. if they don't cause pain to others.

  37. Mccarthyism…from senator mccarthy… and the house committee on unamerican…wait a sec…senator…house…double think!? Boom.

    Lol, the only witch hunt of communist infiltration by macarthy was finding a ton of the bastards, as documented but never mentioned in the declassified notes from the KGB post Soviet union.

  38. I am so grateful to see this video and hear the story about your parents. I'm a teenager with, noticably less severe, but similar parents. I didn't know why it was, but in recent memory I was unable to feel close to my parents. Like you, my father is timid and unconfrontational. In high school he had few friends and was extremely nerdy. My mother carried some serious emotional baggage, and I'm still unsure how she functions, but she seems narcissistic or bipolar (her father was bipolar). Both my parents are heavily involved in a strict religious group that I do not believe in. Every time I explicitly voice this opinion, which isn't often because on some unconscious level I've been taught to not voice my opinion to them, they just tell me to continue practicing the religion as normal and to not make rash decisions. My mother is passive aggressive and has the emotional maturity of a child. Her happiness exists entirely in the external, she's voiced how her day went absolutely horrible just because I didn't say I love you before I leave for school. She uses affection to try to make my submit to her will, when she knows I'm upset at her or am trying to do something she doesn't want, she gets uncharacteristically affectionate. This has made me really dislike showing my parents affection, and she gets upset when I don't want to give her affection. She also "jokes" about things that she's really serious about, in order to passive aggressively get you to do what she wants. One time she wanted my dad to assemble an Ikea coffee table, and he hadn't gotten to it yet because he was busy (she was not busy). She would tease him, or something that resembles teasing, saying things like "you're so lazy, when are you going to get on that coffee table? Haha I'm just kidding I love you". She did this same thing with me when I was younger and trying to get my driver's license. She'd say "wow this would be so easier if you could drive, when are you getting that license?" (I wasn't even old enough yet) and after that "when are you going to buy a car so you can run errands for me?" My older sister seemed to have it much worse, because she had emotional issues much worse and straight up never talked to my parents about anything. My mom cries (noticeably, yet in secret) about how none of her kids love her and don't want to tell her anything. She manipulates me into spending time together. She was in a community choir and wanted me to play out the piano part for her. She noticed that I was unhappy for being forced to do this, because I had other stuff I could do. She then started arguing halfway through about the part that I was playing saying that I did it wrong. She proceeded to pull up an email with an attached video of the piano playing her part (which proved that I was right). I told her that I had stuff I needed to do and I left, where she proceeded to stand up in front of my entire family and say "I guess no one wants to help me then" and run into her room. My dad followed her in to comfort her. He thinks he's being a cooperative and considerate husband, but she has him wrapped around her finger. He works extra long hours and does most house chores, many only benefit my mother. However, typically during one of the daily emotional fits, my dad (like clockwork) will explain how we take everything my mom does for granted and that we should be thankful for her. This reminds me of how my mother always made us say specific things and would punish us if we didn't say them word for word. At night we'd have to say something like "I love you more than anything, Mommy. You are so beautiful". If we were arguing with our siblings we might have to say something like "I value our relationship as siblings too much to care about this petty argument". This basically made whoever was handed the script the loser of any scenario. Just today, my younger sister expressed a dislike of her piano lessons, saying exactly "I don't want to". My parents both got incredibly preachy like they always do about how she was selling herself short and that she can do whatever she puts her mind to, obviously unrelated to what my sister said. But my sister didn't voice anything, she just kept mumbling (she mumbles because she's scared to voice her opinion and gets punished for mumbling) so I spoke up and said "Mom! You're not listening to her. She doesn't WANT to, she's not selling herself short" my parents got angry and quiet (a common behavior of wrong people) until my mom broke the silence and literally stomped into her room. Basically, I am sick of stepping around my mom's impossible feelings. All my friends, peers and etc frequently express gratitude for their mothers, and you basically get ostracized if you say you don't like your mother. But I'm sick of everyone, including her, trying to guilt trip me into affection.

  39. If every school played this video, the world would be a better place. You're a great presenter of tough-to-understand information.

  40. I also deal with a narcissistic parent. I'ts sad to hear you had the same experience but also, in a twisted way, comforting. What I noticed was the way you were able to speak about your mother with no attachment or emotion at all, which is the same conclusion I came to with my father. Although I haven't quite managed to completely deal with all the impossible situations I often find myself in, I'm going to implement what you discussed and I'm optimistic that with some trial and error I'll be able to handle situations much more confidently. This video really stand apart from the '5 simple tricks' con videos and I appreciate as well as thousands of others the depth you went into.

  41. You can see double binding everywhere and how it is becoming more common.Keem, politics, and anything is getting double bonded now. Things are just getting more and more toxic now and it shows a time of regression

  42. I just happened to get a vid of yours suggested to my via YouTube, I have to say I love your presentation of things and the minor surrealism the animations have.

  43. congrats for 200k views

    it only had 1,999,999 views so i copied and repasted the link so i could add another view lol

  44. How about this? If you choose to not believe, you will serve God. If you choose to believe, you will serve God. You have my respect, man.

  45. My father is the most annoying narsicist. The way I learnt to deal with him is to remember I dont need him, at least as of today, because I made myself independent, now It is him that needs me, because hes getting old and has no one around him that likes or respects him. Keeping that in mind, I dont have to take any of his bullshit and I dont give a shit about what He's thinking. None the less, He's my father, I know He is a sick man and I respect Him for all he did for me, thats the only reason I dont cut all laces with him

  46. im impressed at the quality of your videos. i rarely comment like this, but i have to say, this is excellent. thank you so much. you make the world a tiny bit better.

  47. I love your videos. Very well thought out, and a testament to your academic rigor. I was wondering if you'd possibly be willing to debate the existence of God, given I have a degree in philosophy, and I'm a theist. I'm not trying to sway you, just curious as to how you counter my arguments for God.

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