Eric Swalwell: Fartgate 2019 | The Daily Show
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Eric Swalwell: Fartgate 2019 | The Daily Show

November 20, 2019

While the impeachment train
rolled on, there’s an even bigger scandal
rocking D.C. today. And just a warning: if you have small children
at home, you should probably bring them
over to the TV to watch this. A congressman says
he was not responsible for a noise heard
during this interview. I’ve counted at least
five people testifying this week who were on the phone
listening to the president talk about this swap of dirt for U.S. military aid. Chris, so far,
the evidence is uncontradicted that the president
used taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians
to help him cheat… -(passes gas)
-an election. (laughter) (cheering and applause) Okay, that was embarrassing. That was a fart on live TV. And it was a loud fart, too. Like, that thing was so loud, I bet someone
made a noise complaint. Just like, “Hello, 911? I think there’s been
a wet shooting?” And just so we all agree
that that was a fart, let’s play it one more time. The president
used taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians
to help him cheat… -(passes gas)
-an election. (laughter and applause) Yeah, that was… that was unmistakably
a giant fart. It sounded like
a game show contestant got a question wrong
from inside Eric Swalwell’s ass. That’s what it sounded like. Although, although, to be fair, we don’t know that it was
Congressman Swalwell for sure. Like, it could have been
the host, Chris Matthews. Yeah. In fact,
this is the viral argument that everyone
has been talking about online. Who let it rip? And this clip
got so big, so big, that the two main suspects have actually had to come out
and address it publicly. NEWSMAN:
Swalwell says he didn’t do it, and even the Hardball
Twitter account for MSNBC says it wasn’t him
but instead blames a mug scraping across the desk. -Hmm.
-NEWSWOMAN: Okay. NEWSMAN: The congressman
shared that tweet, quoting in all caps,
“total exoneration,” seeming to take the whole thing
in good spirits. Because, look,
that’s embarrassing. Oh, that’s hilarious.
“Total exoneration.” Yeah. It’s a good joke
by Swalwell, but it’s actually not fair
to bring Trump into this, because he’s the one person
who wouldn’t try and hide it. He would try and own
a giant fart. Yeah, he’d be like,
“That’s right. I farted, “and it was the biggest,
most beloved fart of all time. “You know Obama
could never fart like this. “He tried, but he couldn’t
get it done, folks. Couldn’t do it.” So, for more
on this flatulent scandal, we’re now joined by
our senior D.C. correspondent, Desi Lydic, everybody. (cheering and applause) Desi… You’re there
in the Capitol building at the scene of the crime. What can you tell us? Yeah, well, Trevor,
the air is thick with speculation, intrigue and, obviously, farts. Uh, it’s clear
the impeachment proceedings have put Eric Swalwell under
an enormous amount of pressure, and yesterday on MSNBC, that pressure
was finally released. (laughter) But, Desi, MSNBC claims
the sound came from a mug. Ah, come on, a mug? Now, that’s a pathetic excuse. Think about it.
If mugs made fart noises, coffee shops
wouldn’t be relaxing. They’d sound like a yoga class
and retirement home. That’s a… that’s a good point,
but, Desi, how do you know it wasn’t Chris Matthews
who farted? Well, because, Trevor, the forensic evidence
doesn’t lie. Didn’t you see
Swalwell’s shoulders rise during the fart? He’s like a-a dog
sensing an earthquake right before the moment hits. And Swalwell’s quick denial
is the biggest tell of all. Might I remind you, Trevor, that the law says
he who denied it supplied it. It’s right there
in the Constitution. Y-You know, Desi,
n-normally, normally, that would convince me,
but, but a bunch of old clips have been resurfacing online
today because of the story and they show
that this isn’t the first time a fart has happened on
Chris Matthews’ show, all right? Like, listen. Listen carefully
to this clip from September. And these are absolutely real. What’s the penalty
for this kind of case? So, that really depends on
how it’s ultimately structured– if they were able to make -some sort of a tax charge here.
-(fart sound) (chuckles) Well, Desi? Okay, Trevor, yeah,
I-I did hear something, but, yeah, I don’t know, maybe Chris Matthews
was wearing leather pants. But-but it seems
to happen a lot though, Desi. Okay, here’s another clip
from his show in December. The president directed
that activity, according to this, uh–
this memorandum today. -Ken?
-Yes, Chris, and-and, in fact, you know, Michael Cohen already
stood up in court and said that -when he pleaded guilty
to these charges -(fart sound) in the Southern District
of New York. -You heard that, right?
-Yeah. No, but, you know,
that-that really– that could have been anything. For all we know, Rachel Maddow
was practicing the trumpet down the hall.
And, to be honest, Matthews wasn’t even on camera
when this happened, -so this proves nothing.
-Oh, come on. Come on, Desi.
Well, then what about this one? Just give me the skinny here. -Can we get a clean, fair,
-(fart sound) honest election in Florida
tomorrow? Come on, Desi.
That one was obviously him. I mean, he even paused.
He paused! He spoke, then the sound,
then he paused. He did that thing babies do
when they poop. Was like…
(babbles) (babbling) It’s clearly over, Desi. I’ll drop a mic, but Chris
Matthews would probably find a way to fart into it. No. Come on. Trevor! The only thing that this proves is that you’ve been googling
Chris Matthews’ farts all day. Oh– You know what, Desi,
I don’t understand why you’re defending
Chris Matthews so hard. Why can’t you just admit that this guy
is a one-man fart factory? Okay, I will tell you why,
Trevor. Because even though this
might be a silly story to you, there’s a real war on truth
happening right now in America, and we journalists are the ones
fighting on the front lines to defend all the institutions
we hold dear. In the words
of Edward R. Murrow, to be persuasive,
we must be believable. To be believable,
we must be credible. -And to be credible, we…
-(long fart sound) (fart stops) -Uh…
-Desi. -Hmm?
-W-Was that a… (high-pitched fart sound) (Desi clearing throat) Sorry, I was just, um… I was moving my mug around. Just… Desi Lydic, everyone.

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  1. Theres an EVEN BIGGER SCANDLE TREVOR… Hillary is given every question to any interview she agrees to (as if the 2016 CNN debates wasn't evident enough). You could see he shift in her seat preparing to put on her actress hat… when Noah said he had a question to ask her. She then knew what was coming. It's the only question he prefaced that way.
    Noah is complicit.

  2. Thank you for just having a funny moment instead of bash Trump 24/7. Swalwell lifted slightly, and paused as the has passed. He did it..he should have laughed, and excused himself…it happens…its human. I detest the guy…but, he could try not to be so damned stuck up.

  3. If l were Desi, when she farted l would have said "Oh come on Trevor, control yourself!" and left Trevor saying "What, what? It wasn't me!" and then said "Oh sure Trevor…" 😛

  4. If you look at Swalwell's reaction of his body and his speech exactly at the moment of the "noise", it becomes very clear that it was Swalwell letting one loose. And ofcourse it is the typical demonrat reaction to even deny this obvious behavior. How laughable

  5. Lol. I thought they were gonna have her fart a few more times throughout the whole thing. Playing it off like nothing happened.

  6. I don't think Swalwell is genuinely trying to deny it. I think the "total exoneration" tweet is him tongue-in-cheek admitting it was definitely him, since 45 DEFINITELY was NOT exonerated when he tweeted that.

    So really, I think everyone is taking this in stride and good humor.

  7. This was funny and quite embarassing to Swalwell. But hardly enough payback for trying to ruin a great President. The following are accomplishments that you will never see reported by the left wing media

  8. Well this was it. Ive been watching Trevor Noah since he stepped up as host. But the fact that he kept a straight face during that bit is why I know he was worthy of the job.

  9. Trump wouldn't own it. He would yell like a baby and make up some ludicrous conspiracy theory about how the "fake news media" is trying to embarrass him. Although who knows? As the man himself said "I don't stand by anything". However, judging by his cabinet, lawyers, and running mate, he is perfectly ok associating with turds.

  10. Okay but I saw a tweet saying it was a phone vibrating on a table from some verified account which makes this sound even more like a lie

  11. Trevor and Co. this should get you an Emmy or at least The Comedy Award. I laughed so hard my body hurt, my eyes teared and my nose ran, it took a whole lot of keenex to get it under control. Just goes to show how bad I needed a good laugh not to mention clearing out my sinuses.

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