Nowadays, having Internet access
is just as important as things like education
and free speech. After all, it’s how most of us
apply for jobs, do our jobs, tweet things that cause us
to lose our jobs. That is why the United Nations
Human Rights Council has passed a non-binding
resolution condemning countries that disrupt citizens’
Internet access. So now it’s considered
a basic human right to say stuff like this. “Y’all know that Atlanta spelled
backyards is Atlanta.” (laughter) Mm… I think there are other things that Jay do not got
besides that juice. -Uh…
-FLEMING: No juice. MANDYAM:
Chris, he does not speak for all Jays, all right?
I just want you to know. HARDWICK: Okay, he is
a one and only Jay. -He does not speak for all Jays.
-Hashtag #notalljays. God bless America. Hopefully, this will lead
to some sort of Internet bill of human rights guaranteeing that everyone has high-speed
access to our dankest memes. Comedians,
what’s something you might find on an Internet bill of rights? -Emily.
-The right to delete your history
when your boyfriend gets home. -I mean… -All right,
I’ll give you points. (applause and cheering) -Jay.
-The 34th amendment is if it exists,
somebody’s jerking off to it. HARDWICK: Yeah, that’s the 34th
amendment, I believe. (applause) Uh, I think it was Ben Franklin
who said that. Uh, John Ross Bowie. You have the right
to a speedy trial of middle schoolers calling you
Hitler in the comment section. -(laughter)