No Kangaroo Court: Trump’s Refusal To Cooperate With Congress Constitutes Obstruction
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No Kangaroo Court: Trump’s Refusal To Cooperate With Congress Constitutes Obstruction

October 14, 2019


WELCOME TO THE “LATE SHOW.” I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. THINGS AREN’T GOING WELL FOR
DONALD TRUMP TODAY. HALF OF CONGRESS ABSOLUTELY
HATES HIM, AND THE DEMOCRATS AREN’T FOND OF HIM, EITHER.( LAUGHTER )
I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT’S “DON AND THE GIANT
IMPEACH.”>>I DON’T LIKE TO BE THE
SUCKER.>>Stephen: NOW A LOT OF
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING UP TOW THIS POINT, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN
MUSING PUBLICLY, “WHEN IS THE CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS COMING?”
WELL, MARK YOUR CALENDAR, TATTOO IT ON YOUR FOREHEAD, AND FLIP
OFF YOUR BOSS, BECAUSE IT’S HERE. THIS AFTERNOON, THE WHITE HOUSE
DELIVERED ON THEIR PREVIOUS OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE WITH AN
OFFICIAL LETTER TELLING THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES THAT
TRUMP WILL NOT COOPERATE WITH THEIR IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY. YES. ( BOOING )
DON’T GET HIM WRONG. DON’T GET HIM WRONG. TRUMP WOULD LIKE TO HELP WITH
THEIR INQUIRY INTO HIS CONVERSATION WITH UKRAINE BUT,
TRAGICALLY, HE HAS PHONE SPURS.( LAUGHTER )
THE WHITE HOUSE–( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THE WHITE HOUSE– THE WHITE HOUSE MADE THE
ANNOUNCEMENT IN AN OFFICIALLY BITCHY EIGHT-PAGE LETTER TO
CONGRESS, WRITING, “GIVEN THAT YOUR INQUIRY LACKS ANY
LEGITIMATE CONSTITUTIONAL FOUNDATION, ANY PRETENSE OF
FAIRNESS, OR EVEN THE MOST ELEMENTARY DUE PROCESS
PROTECTIONS, THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH CANNOT BE EXPECTED TO
PARTICIPATE IN IT.” WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. YOU CAN’T JUST NOT PARTICIPATE
IN YOUR OWN IMPEACHMENT.( AS JUDGE )
“SIR, YOU ARE CHARGED WITH ASSAULT AND BATTERY. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?”
( AS DEFENDENT )
“UH… PASS?”
( LAUGHTER )
“CAN I BUY A VOWEL? I WOULD LIKE TO…” THE LETTER IS FULL OF ABSOLUTELY
BONKERS ARGUMENTS, TELLING THE DEMOCRATIC LEADERSHIP, “YOU HAVE
DENIED THE PRESIDENT THE RIGHT TO CROSS-EXAMINE WITNESSES.” THE WITNESS IS TRUMP’S
INCRIMINATING PHONE TRANSCRIPT, WHICH HE RELEASED. IF HE WANTED TO, HE COULD
CROSS-EXAMINE HIMSELF. “WHERE WAS I ON THE NIGHT OF THE
PHONE CALL? “I WAS ON THE PHONE!”
“AH-HA! WELL, LET ME ASK YOU THIS, IF
THAT’S THE CASE, DID YOU GET ANY DIRT ON JOE BIDEN?( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
NOW, THE LETTER– SAME LETTER–
( APPLAUSE )
THE LETTER WHINES ON, “THE
PRESIDENT CANNOT ALLOW YOUR CONSTITUTIONALLY ILLEGITIMATE
PROCEEDINGS TO DISTRACT HIM AND THOSE IN THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH
FROM THEIR WORK ON BEHALF OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. THE PRESIDENT HAS A COUNTRY TO
LEAD.” YES. AND IT’S UKRAINE. HE’S LEADING THEM STRAIGHT INTO
PUTIN’S ARMS. COME TO PAPA. THIS LETTER CAME TO THE HOUSE,
JUST HOURS AFTER THE HOUSE WAS ALL SET TO HEAR TESTIMONY FROM
AMBASSADOR TO THE EUROPEAN UNION, GORDON SONDLAND, SEEN
HERE REALIZING, “I’M GOING TO JAIL FOR THAT GUY?”
HOUSE DEMOCRATS WANT TO ASK SONDLAND ABOUT A SERIES OF TEXTS
HE SENT TO THE FORMER AMBASSADOR TO UKRAINE, WHICH REVEALED THAT
TRUMP PUT PRESSURE ON THE UKRAINIANS TO INVESTIGATE JOE
BIDEN. BUT SEW’S LAWYERS LEARNED THE
ADMINISTRATION WOULDN’T LET THE AMBASSADOR TESTIFY, AFTER THE
STATE DEPARTMENT LEFT A VOICE MAIL LAST NIGHT AT TELPH: 30
A.M. FIRST OFF, STATE DEPARTMENT,
JUST TEXT. NOBODY WANTS TO LISTEN TO VOICE
MAIL. ALSO, ANYBODY WHO CALLS THAT
LATE ONLY ONE ONE THING: “HI. HEY, GORDON, IT’S ME. IT’S ME, UNDER SECRETARY FOR
TRADE NEGOTIATIONS. I WAS JUST CALLING BECAUSE I WAS
THINKING HOW MUCH I WANT YOU NOT TO TESTIFY TOMORROW. GORDON. GORDON. WHAT ARE YOU NOT WEARING?”
NOTICE, ACCORDING TO HOUSE INTELLIGENCE CHAIRMAN ADAM
SCHIFF, SONDLAND’S TESTIMONY IS NOT THE ONLY THING THE WHITE
HOUSE IS BLOCKING.>>WE ARE ALSO AWARE THAT THE
AMBASSADOR HAS TEXT MESSAGES OR EMAILS ON A PERSONAL DEVICE. THE STATE DEPARTMENT IS
WITHHOLDING THOSE MESSAGES AS WELL. THE FAILURE TO PRODUCE THESE
DOCUMENTS WE CONSIDER YET ADDITIONAL STRONG EVIDENCE OF
OBSTRUCTION OF THE CONSTITUTIONAL FUNCTIONS OF
CONGRESS.>>Stephen: AND OBSTRUCTION OF
AN IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY IS ITSELF GROUNDS FOR IMPEACHMENT. THIS WHOLE THING IS LIKE THAT
M.C. ESCHER PRINT: HANDS CUFFING THEMSELVES. BUT TRUMP, TRUMP– THEY LOVE
ESHER JOKES. THEY LOVE… BUT TRUMP INSISTS THAT HE HAS
NOTHING WRONG, NOTHING TO HIDE, TWEETING:
“I WOULD LOVE TO SEND AMBASSADOR SONDLAND, A REALLY GOOD MAN AND
GREAT AMERICAN, TO TESTIFY. BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, HE WOULD BE
TESTIFYING BEFORE A TOTALLY COMPROMISED KANGAROO COURT.” FIRST,UN THIS IS CONGRESS AND
NOT A COURT, RIGHT? SECOND, YOU ALSO KNOW THAT THERE
ARE NO ACTUAL KANGAROOS. THERE’S ALSO NO KOALA BAILIFF,
NO DINGO JUDGE, THE GAVEL’S NOT A BOOMARANG, AND
THE JURY IS NOT ALL CROCODILES DUNDEE.( LAUGHTER )
I ASK– I ASK BECAUSE THE WHOLE KANGAROO METAPHOR, THIS THEME
HAS BEEN POPULAR AMONG REPUBLICANS. TAKE FLORIDA REPRESENTATIVE AND
STAR OF FRAT BABY” MATT GAETZ.>>WHAT WE SEE IN THIS
IMPEACHMENT IS A KANGAROO COURT, AND CHAIRMAN SCHIFF IS ACTING
LIKE A MALICIOUS CAPTAIN KANGAROO.>>Stephen: (AS GAETZ)
“CHAIRMAN SCHIFF IS A MALICIOUS CAPTAIN KANGAROO. TRUMP’S BEING RAILROADED BY THE
TERRIFYING THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE.( LAUGHTER )
THIS WHOLE THING IS A LOAD OF HOWDY DOODY, AND IT’S BROUGHT TO
YOU BY THE LETTERS ‘F’ AND ‘U.'”( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
CONGRESS– NO, I’M MAD! NO, I’M STILL IN CHARACTER AS
MATT GAETZ!>>Jon: PUT IT DOWN!>>Stephen: CONGRESS STILL
WANTS TO HEAR FROM THE ORIGINAL WHISTLEBLOWER WHO STARTED THIS
WHOLE THING. AND THEY’RE TAKING EVERY
PRECAUTION. IN FACT, HOUSE DEMOCRATS ARE
CONSIDERING MASKING THE IDENTITY OF THE WHISTLEBLOWER FROM
TRUMP’S G.O.P. ALLIES IN CONGRESS. HOLD ON. THE WHISTLEBLOWER IS DEFENDING
DEMOCRACY AND GETS TO WEAR A MASK. IS IT THIS GUY?( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU, CAP! I DON’T KNOW WHO IT IS. I DON’T KNOW WHO IT IS. THE DEMOCRATS ARE ALSO
CONSIDERING HAVING THE WHISTLEBLOWER ALTER HIS VOICE,
POSSIBLY WITH MODIFICATION TECHNOLOGY. “POSSIBLY WITH MODIFICATION
TECHNOLOGY.” WHAT OTHER WAY WOULD THEY
POSSIBLY DO IT? “PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS BETRAYED
OUR NATION’S CORE IDEALS AND TURNED HIS BACK ON ALL THAT
WE STAND FOR! HE MUST BE REMOVED FROM OFFICE
BEFORE DEMOCRACY ERODES BENEATH OUR FEET. I SAY THIS NOT JUST AS A PATRIOT
BUT AS A MEMBER OF THE ♪ LOLLIPOP GUILD
THE HOLLY POP GUILD ♪ THE LOLLIPOP GUILD
♪ I REPRESENT THE INSPECTOR GENERAL
♪ AND WE’D LIKE TO GO AND DRAG YOUR ASS TO JAIL ♪
OH, THAT’S GOOD. THAT’S A HIGH. THAT’S A HIGH.>>Jon: GET IT ALL IN. ♪ LOVING YOU IS EASY BECAUSE
YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL ♪ THANK YOU.( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS )

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  1. No it doesn't just watch , just like Russian collusion. Why haven't you voted on it then like every other impeachment. Just wait and he will slam dunk on all you fools.

  2. Dear Americans, can you please end this travesty and take back the nuclear launch codes from this lunatic?

    Sincerely,
    the rest of the world

  3. I wonder who is throwing their balls in the fire to write the crap in that letter, He couldn't come up with that crap on his own he's not smart enough or bold enough to make a claim like that. That is where his goons come in. His WH lawyer is a real joke he's probably 10th in line with the mafia. If everyone defied a court appearance or cooperation they would be hog tied and dragged out of the building-or maybe now that Trump has made the US a gun state & cops can kill people at will and don't worry about hitting their heads. If a regular Joe on the street defied an order boom! they'd be dead. Look how he treated Hillary Clinton at the one on one campaign fiasco. He kept pounding her and people kept laughing a bunch of creeps. I can only imagine how he treated his wives.

  4. As an Australian I am offended by the use of one of our national emblems in this context. If Kangaroos held court, there'd be a fight every 5 minutes; a bit like the Italian Parliament. 😉
    Scottish comedian Danny Bhoy puts it well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5TYDYvAX_M

    Don't inhale too much pure Helium people. That stuff'll kill you. Fkin funny though.

  5. Colbert is a talent-less, lying , liberal sack of garbage who has a pack of ignorant clapping seals for an audience… WAKE UP LIBERALS, "entertainers" like him along with corrupt democRATS and their accomplices in the fake MSM are playing you all for a bunch of fools….PATHETIC

  6. Colbert: “Orange man bad!”

    Kimmel: “YUP ORANGE MAN BAD!”

    Fallon: “Hahahahahahaa, orange man not good”

    Trevor Noah: “Orange man reeeaaalllyyyy baaad!

    Conan: ‘something actually funny and entertaining without any political bias getting in the way’

    I am no trump supporter, the jokes were really funny at first; but it’s gotten old really fast. Don’t they have ANY other material?

  7. What do we have 3 branches of government for!!!!???? 😡😡😡. Take his ass out of office already!!!!!! 😡😡😡

  8. The man who called Hillary Clinton the "Mother of ISIS" is now allowing Turkey to murder the people keeping them in confinement. So, as the Kurds flee for the lives, the terrorists in those camps are going to scatter. I'd say he'd be ashamed of himself, but…impossible. The Republicans in office should absolutely be ashamed of themselves. The history books from this era are going to make their descendants feel shame.

  9. A. Cappello SCD223160 was charged with assault and battery but it was the police that ass salted pepper sprayed and knuckle sandwiched. With a 10K UCSD Hospital Bill in 2009 prior the the New CEO and bonus payouts google "CEO UCSD medical payout" or San Diego Union Tribune even the UCSD paper reported it.

  10. Neither the Democratic press nor the Democrats understand that there are thousands of beautiful communities all over the USA who do not want to be infected and damaged by Democratic policies.  People in all these cities and towns have a genuine fear that their beautiful towns will become like Los Angeles skid row or like Chicago, if the Democrats take over Washington.  That would  be a tragedy for America.  Thank God for the electoral college that protects much of America.

  11. One thing is for Certain; We are learning from Trump how to get away with it …. Or be Dragged down with Integrity when he takes the first bite on his 'peach'

  12. Lmfao.. Kangaroo Kangaroo Kangaroo impeach his azz now…they got his azz dead to rights..just grab em him by his penis or better yet grab em by his balls cause u got em by his balls Like some one said in Metal Gear snake eater..lol

  13. What's bad is Trump trying to circumvent the very laws that he claims to support. What's worse is House Republicans standing behind him.

  14. Stephen, You just lied and lied to the public.I did not vote for him ,But love my country and can't take anymore what comedians like you are doing to the country.QUIT spreading this false narrative that you wright off as comedy and use the truth. I now believe there is a swamp out there and your part of it. i just started following this on a daily basis about a month ago and have figured out what you leftist are up to. Your no Democrat and will be switching parties in next election because leftist are much worse than Trump.

  15. When are his supporters gonna realize that Trump is not there savour but just amother big fat white lie….🤣🤣🤣

    ..

  16. Sad people think this guy is funny 😒 Hey look, 40k likes, about as many people that will be voting libtard in 2020
    He's not my pweesident!! Impweeech Twump! 😭🍼

  17. Matt Gaetz…"a malicious Capt Kangaroo.". And to that say…what the f–k? He's obviously clueless about who Capt Kangaroo was. Gaetz is a moron.

  18. Woooow, Stephen…go easy on the helium. You were really pushing it there… close to passing out. Helium locks out oxygen to brain cells… not something to repeatedly inhale.

  19. What the fuck. School taught me that as a free country, we can an impeach our president…it was supposed to be one of the things that separated a president from a king.

  20. What is sad is that with all that is going on, his people are sticking with him. Those racist roots runs deep. Frump is a traitor and a Russian stooge. Tump, Jr., Eric, Ivanka and Giuliani all belong in jail.

  21. Get him to hope for the Nobel Peace Prize, put the carrot in front of his nose. Explain to him what he has to do Syria – Russia – Turkey – Iran and the Kurds. Also what he could achieve in Afghanistan with the Taliban and the regime. He is ambitious, so get him to work, he did invite the Taliban to Camp David just play him to get a result.

  22. Donny Trump with all the money you used to win the presidency in 2016 all you did was just invest yourself a room in personal prison cell, once impeached! LOL!

  23. 30 years from now history students will be watching this old video with Stephen's helium voice in an attempt to see how society was at this point in time. It's a fact that makes me happy.

  24. Please my fellow Americans read this article. "Beyond Reason: Mental Retardation: An Overview." It's Trump! It explains everything about him. Why he can't read. Why he doesn't understand what morals are. How a lot of retarded people look as normal as you and me. And please someone if you know anyone whose on Mr. Colbert's staff send them this article so they can show it to Mr. Colbert. It's why Putin put him in office. He hates America so he did this to us. Put a retarded man in the most important job in our country. Putin spits on us every day when Trump does his bidding. And now he's threatened our ex-Ambassador to the Ukraine! She due to testify tomorrow and he implies she's not going to make it. I'm really frightened for her. 🙁 Songs

  25. Can the "Late Show with Stephen Colbert" tune please be tuned down in volume? It is so loud compared to the actual show. Like this comment if you agree!

  26. Trump is so worried about Biden that he’s committing crime after crime when he should be worried about Bernie, Warren, and Yang🤣.

  27. "Democracy" was onlyh when the LIVING THINGS educated the preachers and leaders. When the preachers and leaders began educating children then those all became flag waving, bible thumping DICTATORSHIPS needing armies of soldiers and police enforcing their LIES on Life.

  28. Steven THE HAS BEEN COMEDIAN now just a talking Hillary sht stain on America losers😂don't Hate MAKE AMERICA GREAT.
    GET NECK UP CHECK UP TODAY.

  29. 5:19 That's not what a kangaroo court is. A kangaroo court is mean, quick and ends only one way for the person being "tried." The technical definition is "a court that ignores recognized standards of law or justice, and often carries little or no official standing in the territory within which it resides. THE TERM MAY ALSO APPLY TO A COURT HELD BY A LEGITIMATE JUDICIAL AUTHORITY WHO INTENTIONALLY DISREGARDS THE COURT’S LEGAL OR ETHICAL OBLIGATIONS." So, you calling it a kangaroo court, is like shooting yourself in the foot, which for you is pretty dicey given that it always seems to be lodged in your mouth.

  30. Trump knows that the impeachment inquiry is a witch hunt, just like all the others the dumb-o-crats have pulled and I agree with Trump that he does not need to give them any damn thing! The dumb-o-crats are crooked as hell and they want power and corruption and they will do anything to get it!

  31. Trump getting impeached just for being Trump. A Trump on a log. Trumpstruction is a misdemeanor to the highest degree.

  32. This Colbert is a total simpleton. He is neither funny, smart nor interesting. How do such dorks become famous? Well, they are supported by the unimaginative brainwashed SJWs of America!

  33. Trumpdumb is a whole kingdom of crooks and ignorant buffoons with no moral fortitude or ability to think straight. Trump's greed and lack of character and understanding of the world, his white supremacist Turbo Captialist philosophy is wrecking everything including the ability to move forward on the dire EMERGENCY of CLIMATE CRISIS now nearing CATASTROPHE for the young. Trump is Putin's, Robert Mercer's, and Netenyahu's puppet, and Stephen harps only on Putin. Talk about insanely rich multibillionaire, white supremacist Robert Mercer who hired Steve Bannon to run Trump's campaign and who hired Cambridge Analytico to lie about Hillary all over FaceBook. Mark Zuck's empire is a horror of falsities and fake news right alongside of truths. Hard for the ignorant to know which is which. Love Stephen's humor, but he should get a load of Robert Mercer, White Supremacist owner of Brietbart!!!! Sit down with you nuts and wine and your wonderful wife and watch the documentary film TRUMPING DEMOCRACY!

  34. 90 PERCENT OF THE MEDIA WE SEE AND LISTEN TO IS OWNED BY 6 CORPORATIONS, AND BEHIND THAT, A FEW VERY  RICH AND NASTY INDIVIDUALS WITH A GLOBALIST AGENDA , CONTROL THE NARRATIVE, TELL THE PEOPLE HOW TO THINK, FEEL, WEAR , WHAT TO EAT AND DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!! WAKE UP, IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH IN THIS WORLD, YOU HAVE TO SEARCH FOR IT. A WORD OF ADVICE, FOLLOW THE MONEY TRAIL, GEORGE SOROS

  35. Trump is a Big example of Spoiled/Bully Big Boy.. and totally no idea what is Constitutions.. and what is a reality..

  36. Stephen Miller wrote that letter they sent to Ms Speaker, that is the way he talks, I can just see him saying those things. …and is being brought to by the letters, F and U, hilarious – the whole monologue.

  37. Im pretty sure Donald never heard the term Kangaroo Court until Sean Hannity called him at home and told him about it.
    I'm also sure Donald doesnt actually understand what it is but that never stops him.

  38. I never knew you could sound so pissed off and condescendingly threatening while inhaling helium. That made me laugh like a crazed jackal.🤣

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