Our Weekly Constitutional Crisis: Comey Edition | May 10, 2017 Act 1 | Full Frontal on TBS
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Our Weekly Constitutional Crisis: Comey Edition | May 10, 2017 Act 1 | Full Frontal on TBS

August 24, 2019


-I am Samantha Bee. Welcome to “Full Frontal.” Ooh, what a fun
time to be alive! Absolutely explosive news
out of Washington tonight. The city erupting at the news. The bombshell announcement– It is seismic. It’s bizarre, and
it’s an earthquake. It is so outrageous. It is so grotesque. It is so wrong. This is shocking. Shocked would be a
gross understatement. This is a crisis
for the country. The shock waves
will ripple out here. Ooh, a shock wave
bombshell earthquake! [GASPS] Oh, how I pity
anyone in the DC area who was baking a souffle
when the news broke. I’m so sorry for your
loss, Lindsey Graham. This brings us to our
recurring segment, Our Weekly Constitutional Crisis– What the Fuck Is It This Time? As of yesterday afternoon, the
only FBI drama most Americans expected to unfold on TV were
the upcoming seasons of “Twin Peaks” and the “X-Files.” But at 6:00 PM, with
our show written, and the staff on
their second whiskey, our dumb democracy ran into a
wall with a bucket on its head again. I was on the way to winning,
until the combination of Jim Comey’s letter,
on October 28th, and Russian Wikileaks raised
doubts in the minds of people. ANNOUNCER: This is
CNN Breaking News. All right, we have
major breaking news. We’re interrupting that report. Jeff Zeleny, our White House– senior White House correspondent
is joining us on the future of the FBI director. The President of
the United States has terminated the Director
of the FBI, James Comey. Ugh! Comey managed to get
in Hillary’s way one last time, for old time’s sake. Thus began the slow
motion clusterfuck of impulsiveness and
ineptitude that this White House is famous for. Trump had his bodyguard
take a dismissal letter– complete with a totally
normal digression about how the president didn’t
collude with Russia, OK– and hand-deliver it straight
to FBI Headquarters, where Comey wasn’t. He was in Los Angeles, where
he learned about his firing from a TV report, got in an SUV
and was slowly followed down the highway in a weird
echo of the OJ chase, except not really,
because we know the president would
never have fired his good friend, the “Juice.” Then Sean Spicer
“managed the narrative” by hiding in the bushes
so reporters wouldn’t film him, because he’d
rather get lyme disease than talk to the press. And the cable news networks
flipped out for six hours without a single commercial
break, which means Americans spent the whole
evening not knowing who to call about
our mesothelioma, or what pill to take for
opioid-induced constipation. I tried prunes, laxatives,
still constipated. I had to talk to my doctor. She said, how long you
been holding this in? [CHUCKLES] And what the hell am I supposed
to do with all my old gold? They say those
who forget history are doomed to repeat it. But last night, those who
remembered history also got pretty repetitive. It was October 20, 1973,
the Saturday Night Massacre, when Richard Nixon
fired Archibald Cox, the special prosecutor. Perhaps worse than
October 20, 1973. ADAM SCHIFF (ON
PHONE): –most tainted actions by President Nixon. –were hot on his
tail on Watergate. The shades of Nixon. The Watergate break-in. The Saturday Night Massacre. It looks like he’s pulled a
“Saturday Night Live” Massacre. Wasn’t that the working title
for Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip? By 7:30– and I am
not making this up– the staff of Nixon’s
official library were trying to wash the Donald
Trump taint off Richard Nixon, with the hashtag,
#notNixonian, which is fair. At least Nixon wasn’t at
war with lat-night comedy. Sock it to me? You know what, fine, guys. Trump doesn’t want to be
associated with you either. Wait, oh my god, are
you fucking kidding me? Where did Henry
Kissinger come from? [CHUCKLES] Why was
he at the White House at this very moment? He never left. He’s been trapped in the
dumbwaiter all these years. Ooh, I can’t wait
for R. Kelly to write a hip-hopper about this. And while you’re at it, R., get
Trump to release his “P” tape. Reached for comment inside
the Large Hadron Collider, Vladimir Putin said this. We know. That’s the problem. His only competence
is firing people. And he’s too dumb to understand
why this time, his ratings didn’t go up. I was told by–
earlier tonight– by a source familiar with
discussions inside the White House, that they
did not expect this to be the political
explosion that it was. News flash, most of us
love our democratic norms more than we hate the other
team, President Ding-Dong. This isn’t partisan. I don’t like James Comey. Nobody does. You either think he lost
Hillary the election. Or you think he’s the
reason she’s not locked up. Comey is a bit of a turd. But at least he’s
an independent turd. Whoever Trump appoints
next to lead the FBI, whether it’s David Clarke, Joe
Arpaio, or Ivanka in a trench coat, they’ll know that if they
look too hard at Trump’s Russia connections, they’ll be out. That’s why Jeffrey
Toobin’s job last night was to appear on
every single show and say one thing over and over. This is not normal. This is not normal. I do know that
this is not normal. This is not a normal
event in American history. It’s not normal, and
it’s not American. It’s not normal. This is not how
presidents behave. Jeff Toobin, I
gotta start with you. Is this normal? This– no. I guess we’ll never know,
except this has become normal. This president has wiped his
ass with the Constitution so many times, the
National Archives started leaving
passive-aggressive notes asking him to chip
in for toilet paper. When POTUS shot off an
insulting infantile tweet during Hannity’s show, as
usual, we were just relieved it wasn’t a whole tweet storm. Just one tweet, gosh, that’s
practically presidential. That’s where we are. The president is meeting
with a war criminal. Putin’s playing space hockey. And the press secretary is
hiding in some shrubbery. Did I miss anything? We didn’t get the
chance to say it. This is Day 110 of the
Trump administration. Oh, god. Sean, scoot over. We’ll be right back. [MUSIC PLAYING]

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  1. 6:17 Samantha Bee actually calling out a War Criminal? WOW! Surprised TBS didn't fire her on the spot.

  2. Constitutional?? Democrats care about the constitution all of a sudden. Didn't seem to care when that much when the last guy why over reaching left and right the entire time. He fired james comey, like any other job you cannot be wrongfully terminated. Several people requested that he be removed for years don't see how that is unconstitutional to fire him.

  3. Because there was nothing to the investigation, of course Trump wouldn't mind it going forward as usual.

  4. Why all the hate for Kissinger? I thought he was a secretary of state or something back in the old days.

  5. WHY TRUMP IS THE GREATEST TEACHING PRESIDENT AMERICA HAS EVER HAD. PERIOD!!!
    The western democracies have been declining due to a serious reduction in Voter engagement, there has been a growing feeling that in the face of the donor class buying the government's they want what could an individual do. The fact is that Trump has been so outrageous as president that the voters have become incredibly engaged in how democracy works.
    They now understand that real power resides with them and they are connecting all across the country and will vote the GOP out and this coming threat will lead the GOP to dump Trump. Who else in 100 days could teach a whole country and a whole world how democracy works!!! Thanks Donald great job.#MAKINGDEMOCRACYGREATAGAIN.

  6. !!!!!!!!!!NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!!!! The Clinton's and the Clinton Foundation received more than 4 million dollars from high level Russian government personal and high ranking Russian KGB members for half of America's uranium supply!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's a Russian scandel!!!!!!!!!!

  7. I never voted for Trump but if all you're material is just ripping on Donald Trump it gets repetitive do what John Oliver does a short Trump story and then a separate not another solely focused government story

  8. Ms Bee is such a talent—intelligent, articulate and very bloody funny.
    Nice of Nappyman to help out with the scripts.

  9. Is it possible Trump is realizing that being POTUS is a MILLION times harder than he previously thought? And if so, is he trying to get himself impeached??

  10. Ya now, I'm not sure why liberals think its okay to make fun of Graham somehow being effeminate. It feels really hypocritical. Just imagine if he was a liberal senator being picked on by conservatives…

  11. Let's bring back the draft with no deferments, and let the 1%'ers have equal time in the trenches.
    "GOD BLESS AMERICA !!!!!!"
    Truthful sarcasm from your friendly local atheist.

  12. This is really awful stuff. Self deluded if she thinks she is a comedian. So contrived, yet so banal at the same time.

  13. laughing at all the pathetic trump followers coming here to criticize Samantha and liberals. Get a life XD

  14. Just remember, the only other time an FBI director was fired was in 1993, and that was because of Waco. Compared to that, Trump's justification is pathetic.

  15. George Soros is pulling your strings. You all have no clue. Why do you do the bidding of a Traitor Jew ?? This man turned his own people into the Nazis for riches. Open your eyes/ears you twits.

  16. Not just annoying. NO TALENT not a comedian or a scholar or easy to look at. Not witty, just Lude, Crude and Disrespectful. I guess someone has to entertain societies morally challenged 'hater'aid drinkers.

  17. I don't hate James Comey. He did his job. Ran an investigation. Delivered the results.

    If you hate a man for doing his job correctly, then you should hate the job.

  18. Is anyone even taking her seriously? Half of these sources are from one source, CNN, and it isnt even that bad. Trump fired Comey…..k?

  19. "Love our democratic norms more than we hate the other team, this isnt partisan, I don't like Jim Comey, nobody does."

    Unless, of course, you are a non-partisan moderate, who think he was right to do his job on emails, and right to investigate russian ties. Everytime a democrat mentions comey negatively it pushes me further from the party I used to be in.

  20. Now this is a story all about how,
    my life got flipped-turned upside down.
    And I'd like to take a minute,
    so just stand right on by,
    I'll tell you how I became the ex-director of the FBI.

    In Washington I was more than praised,
    for bipartisan views of investigations raised.
    Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool,
    Representing Lockheed after Columbia Law School.
    When this President guy just trying to do good,
    appoints me director of FBI’s neighborhood.
    I put out one little conference about Clinton’s email,
    She said “Your unwise foray into politics is destined to fail.”

    Russian connections to Trump came into play,
    And Wiener’s emails were news of the day.
    One little conference destroyed Hillary’s ticket,
    it made me slightly sick, but that’s how I kick it.

    I requested increased resources due to Russian fear,
    but it turned out that’s a subject Trump holds dear.
    If anything I could say that’s not standard fare,
    removing directors isn’t done on a dare.

    I was giving a speech, feeling just great!
    When the news on the set spilled out my fate.
    I’ve looked at the case, we’re finally there,
    Russian stoolies are in charge of our care.

  21. Mainly just started watching. Highly appreciate all most every youtube video starting with your CHILDREN VICTIMS ACT.
    Because I copied it and got a strike. In ten years after more than 1000 videos in close to 9 years not getting paid for being on youtube. In fairness they didn't strike how i felt about CHILDREN VICTIMS ACT. So It's about the peoples voice. I'm sorry.
    The only other outstanding thing about my youtube channel is the viewed video is about a UNIVERSAL REMOTE. Want to say remind you of anyone but…
    love how rediculus analagies is the cure for explaining the stupidities. Our new education.
    Thank you because you are a contributor to the age of confirmation.
    There are more people alone then there are organized. PEACE ON EARTH.

  22. Wow.. what a desperate hollyweird wannabe ,,, like so many other butthurt liberals trying to make a name for themselves on Hillary's Epic FAILURE ! HAA HA ha

  23. Wait, wait? That CNN segment of news of Comey's firing breaking in over Hillary Clinton talking about Comey was REAL?

  24. What made the Daily Show with Jon Stewart so good was that they actually made fun of both sides of the aisle. Issue with Samantha Bee & Trevor Noah is that they ONLY rip on the Republicans.

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