South African President Jacob Zuma & The Panama Papers: The Daily Show
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South African President Jacob Zuma & The Panama Papers: The Daily Show

October 24, 2019

Um, you know,
a lot of my career, I’ve, uh, I’ve made fun
of politicians. And-and now that
I’m in this job, it’s mostly
American politicians, but that’s because
this is America, and you guys don’t really give
a (bleep) about anywhere else. Uh… That’s… It’s just
a joke, but it’s true. Um… now, I, like, I don’t have a problem
talking (bleep) about the U.S., but sometimes it makes it seem
like other countries don’t have problems
with their politicians. Uh, take my president,
Jacob Zuma, right? Uh, no, that’s…
Sorry, no, that’s Idi Amin. Please take… No, that’s Forest Whitaker
playing Idi Amin. No, that’s Larry Wilmore.
Why are you… Oh, no, sorry, whoa,
that’s Zuma. Sorry. Sorry, I s… I saw the… I’m sorry. My bad, Larry,
my bad. My bad. I… Corner of my eye.
I’m sorry, man. Uh, so, yeah, so, that’s
my president, Jacob Zuma. All right? And, uh,
and this-this guy– the president of South Africa–
he’s no stranger, uh, to controversy, you know? He’s-he’s a man who’s faced
over 700 charges of corruption, and that wasbefore
he was elected as president. And-and I know, I know–
that should have been a red flag to South Africans,
but ever since apartheid, we-we strive to be color-blind,
so all we saw was a flag. Um… But now, President Zuma has gotten himself
into another bind. In South Africa the country’s
president, Jacob Zuma, is facing calls to resign. This, after South Africa’s
highest court determined Zuma broke the law in using public funds
to renovate his private home.The constitutional court ruled
Mr. Zuma improperly used
$15 million in state fundsfor home upgrades.You know why I love this? People looking at that going,
“which one is his home?” All of it. What you were looking at
was all of it. Yeah, President Zuma
spent $15 million torenovatehis house, not build it– renovate. Which is an amazing figure. Partly because he can’t even
count that high. Uh… No, and this is not,
like, a mean joke. President Zuma
cannot count that high. This is President Zuma attempting to say 769,870. Our membership figures stood at… Listen properly. (clears throat) (laughter and applause) You know what, my favorite part, my favorite part is when
he tries to blame the audience for the fact
that he can’t say the number. “700… Uh, listen properly. Listen. Listen.” It’s almost like he’s saying
to the audience, “Hey, guys, “this only sounds wrong because
your ears are (bleep) up. Listen properly. Listen.
I’m saying it right.” Now, the most glaring thing here
wasn’t the fact that he spent $15 million
but how he tried to justify it. For instance, he built himself
a beautiful swimming pool at his house, all right?
And then the public said, “Uh, why is the government
paying for your private swimming pool?”
And then he said, “No, uh,
it’s not a swimming pool. This is a fire pool.” And the
people were like, “Uh, what?” And he said, “Yeah, you see,
this pool is used “if there’s a fire.
I take the water from the pool “and I splash it onto the fire. So it’s a government expense
to keep the president safe.” Uh, that-that’s an actual thing
that he said. Which is understandable.
It’s the same philosophy I use when I claim sports cars
on my tax returns as a medical expense. Uh, the
IRS goes, “That’s a Ferrari.” And I reply, “No, that’s a
microphallic compensation tool. That’s what that is.”
Uh, it’s all how you see it. It’s all how you see it. But, you know, that’s-that’s one
of the downsides of African presidents. There’s
so much corruption in Africa, something you never see
in the West. Unless you look. The largest leak
of secret documents in history.Publication of what are being
called the Panama Papers
this weekend has exposed
a worldwide corruption scandal.
There are huge allegations
within these documents.
Money laundering,
arms and drug deals,
tax evasion.
12 current or former leaders, world leaders, have been named,
another 128 politicians as well. Edward Snowden even tweeting,
“This is the biggest leak in the history
of data journalism.” 11 million documents. That’s
ten times what Snowden leaked. Oh, (bleep)!
(laughs) You know a leak is big
when Edward Snowden is impressed by it. Yeah. That’s like Donald Trump
being impressed by your tan. That’s what that is. -(laughing) Oh.
-(cheering) But this-this Panama Papers
scandal is a huge story. It’s still growing.
We don’t even know what it’s… like, where it’s gonna end.
Everyone is talking about it. Basically, the story is that,
this weekend, someone
at a Panamanian law firm, uh, leaked 11 million documents, 11 million documents
that revealed the alleged owners of more than
15,000 offshore shell companies. Now, at this point,
Panama has basically produced as many leaked documents
as they have douchey hats. Um… This is… Why do… why
do people still wear these hats? I don’t get it. You look like
such a douche when you wear, like, a… No. Hey, no, no.
No, that… Don’t-don’t laugh at that.
I wore it once in, like, 2008.
Back when they were cool. That’s not a… 11 million documents.
11 million documents. Now-now, look, uh,
having a shell company isn’t always illegal, all right, but a lot
of very powerful people are about to be implicated
in some dubious (bleep). Uh, and, by the way,
whoever leaked this, unlike Edward Snowden, they
won’t find refuge in Russia. REPORTER:Russian president
Vladimir Putin,
he’s not named specifically
in these documents,
but they do reveal
a telltale trail set up
by his closest inner circle
and worth $2 billion.
No way! You’re telling me the guy who
walked through King Midas’ doors to shake hands
with Bashar al-Genocide is up to something shady?
Oh, no! (cheering and applause) How is anything with Putin
still a surprise? But we’re gonna be hearing
a lot more about this in days to come because the list
of people is kind of incredible. REPORTER:The king of Saudi
Arabia; the prime minister
of Pakistan;
Jackie Chan, the film star…
No, Jackie Chan! We trusted you, Jackie! What kind of kung fu is this? You know, Jackie Ch…
Jackie, my heart is broke. Now Jackie Chan
could get arrested. We actually have footage
of the authorities apprehending him this morning. (grunting) (laughs) Oh, if anyone knows
of Jackie Chan’s whereabouts, remember, approach him
as a group but then fight him

Only registered users can comment.

  1. Zuma=liar! Trump=Liar!! Putin=Liar …..Yada Yada Yada! Are there any leaders that are not? WTF can anyone do?

  2. Why is this news? Once you pass 5million tax free the shady opportunities come poring in like sand through the hour glass.

  3. Don’t care about anyone? How many billions have we given to your continent Africa because of rampant aids, starvation, civil wars w child soldiers etc.
    the bad stands out but America does a whole lot of good that’s nit covered

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  5. He couldn't complete school because he was fighting for travor to be telling jokes about him in the US today just to make money

  6. Can someone else??

  7. He obviously cant count. But damn, he's really great at stealing Big amount of money!

    BTW, Pewdiepie's latest upload brought me here

  8. Was the south African President better when you sleped in cars and eated dog food with your abusive stepdad???

  9. Racist blacks like Trevor Noah will never condemn the genocide of white people in South Africa. Trevor Noah uses the word "racist" only on white people!

  10. Basheer Al Genocide my ass,at least he is secular in compare to those west backed islamist terrorists

  11. That's true too much corruption in Africa special right now if you go SenegalπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ the brother of the president n the family they still lot of money in Senegal this why Senegal never grew up

    I love what you are saying trevor is true ❀

  12. This was 3 years ago…… Any new info on that Panama leaks?! Any criminal charges?! Did anyone went to jail for those financial crimes?… No time for it, eh? πŸ™

  13. do you known why Africans are beginning to hate you. you speak about African corruption but you do not speak about how europe and America is corrupting us. showing bad sign of africa but no cause is discuss because you know is cause by the stupid whites.
    malema is a great pan african you cant deform his character stupid whites media capture. my photo is there. from senegal.

  14. How much did Mandela spend in all of his houses in qunu ,mvezo, capetown ,Johannesburg Nd Mozambique???? It’s so unfortunate that we blame everything to zuma

  15. I'm Panamanian πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ Trevor those hats are not made in PanamΓ‘, they are from Ecuador but it was named PanamΓ‘ hat. Our hats are very different.

  16. ha e dont need white population we need to go back to africa and educate them since white population ruined for years to come and still do and since education is real hard there i cant say i blame the african president

  17. We don't know how this story gonna end! well… 2019 here and nobody talks let alone remembers about the panama papers πŸ™

  18. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸŽ‡πŸ”₯πŸŽ‡πŸ”₯πŸŽ†πŸŽŠπŸŽŠπŸ’£πŸŽ‰

  19. At least be proud that South Africa's justice system applies equally to all unlike the American one where the establishment political elites and ruling classes are never prosecuted, let alone jailed

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