The Kind of Story We Need Right Now: Woman Scares Off Wild Cougar with Metallica Song
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The Kind of Story We Need Right Now: Woman Scares Off Wild Cougar with Metallica Song

October 11, 2019

A Canadian woman
was hiking in the woods recently when a wild cougar
started stalking her, so she did the only thing
that made sense. She scared it away by playing
Metallica on her phone. Which brings us
to a segment we call “The Kind of Story
We Need Right Now.” ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] This is Dee Gallant. Dee was hiking in the woods near
her home in British Columbia when something
didn’t feel quite right. As she put it… -I just suddenly felt like
something was watching me. -So she turned around slowly and saw just 50 feet away
from her a cougar standing perfectly
still and ready to pounce. So Dee did what
any normal person would do. She took her phone out
and made a video. -There’s a cougar
watching me right there. Bad kitty. [ Audience laughter ] Bad kitty. [ Audience laughter ] Go. [ Audience laughter ]
I’ll fight you. -In the time it took her
to make that video, I would have [bleep] my pants,
changed them, and then [bleep] the new pair. This is the kind of story
we need right now. Americans are being bombarded
with one bad situation after another,
and we’re paralyzed by it. Meanwhile, this woman
comes face-to-face with an actual cougar,
and she’s like, “Let’s go.” I’m impressed as hell with Dee’s
courage, but the cougar was not. -He just stayed,
and he just stared at me for the longest time,
and I decided I needed to do something
a little more intimidating. -A little more intimidating.
So what did she do? Growl? Stomp her feet? Scream for help? No. She opened iTunes. And she selected the track “Don’t Tread on Me”
by Metallica. Because, as Dee explained… Imagine. Imagine, if you can —
Imagine seeing a cougar, and your first thought being, “What’s the message I want
to convey through song?” In case you’re not familiar with
the song “Don’t Tread on Me,” it’s the one
that goes like this. -♪ Da da da-da ♪ -And then it goes…
-♪ Da da da-da ♪ -And then it hits the chorus,
and it’s like… -♪ Da da da-da, joo-joo,
da da da-da, joo-joo ♪ -By the way, if you’d like
to download this song, you can find it
on the Spotify playlist Songs to Scare Off
a Cougar With.” So See pulled up the song, held her phone in the air,
and hit play. And as soon as
the first few notes rang out, the cougar turned around
and darted back into the woods. Can you imagine
being that cougar? You’re like, “Oh, great. There’s
a lady. This will be easy.” And then you get closer,
and you’re like, “Oh, it’s a Canadian.
Even easier.” And then you’re like,
“Oh, [bleep]. It’s a metalhead! Never mind!” [ Laughter ] Naturally, as soon as the cougar
was gone, Dee headed home. No, I’m just kidding.
Dee finished her hike. She finished her hike
playing the same song on repeat the whole time for safety. All the other predators
in the woods are like, “I don’t know
what animal makes that noise, but I am not finding out.” When Dee got home, she posted
her story on social media, and it quickly went viral — so viral that a few days later, the lead singer of Metallica,
James Hetfield, called her to say
he was glad she was okay. But Dee’s no dummy, so she said, “How do I know
this is really you?” And he texted her this selfie. [ Laughter ] This is the kind of story
we need right now! [ Cheers and applause ] Our world is filled with people unwilling to take action
in difficult situations, people who see danger and refuse
to do what needs to be done. But not Dee Gallant. She is
a role model for our times. And if you don’t agree,
I’ve got three words… -I’ll fight you. -This has been “The Kind
of Story We Need Right Now.” [ Cheers and applause ]

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  1. Did you see the video of the mountain bikers getting charged by Black bears on Mt Seymour, North Vancouver? Bears don’t usually charge. It shows how hungry they are when they do.

  2. You get stalked by a cougar and you get scared. Dee gets stalked by a cougar and she goes "YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS?? LET'S FUCKING GO"

  3. She’s like a lot of Canadians, we confront a situation with our intelligence not with hostility. Amazing woman, strong and proud❣️🇨🇦

  4. One of mi favorite songs ever by METALLICA!!!!!!!!! that cat wasn't intimidated by the song!!!!! Just look at her size!!!!!!! I wouldn't want to piss her off!!!!! Good looking girl by the way my type!!!!

  5. Ahahah! I am a Canadian & I have scared away a few cougars with Metallica songs in my time! Only cougars that like Disco or Rap though, lol!

  6. The beaver is a perfect symbol for Canadians. Inoffensive, community-minded, you leave it alone, it'll leave you alone.
    But if you reach down and pull it's tail, it'll bite your fucking hand off!

  7. 🗿 Yeah, well DRAKE'S also from Canada. But somehow I don't think any of HIS songs would've done the trick❗ 🤣

  8. Seth, we love you but you have a problem with cats. The other day you were talking about a grandma who killed a bobcat with her hands, and now this. I know you are a dog person, but that doesn´t mean you have to be a cat hater.
    This is the story about the bobcat:

  9. If you live on Vancouver Island, you have to know what to do if you encounter a mountain lion because there are lots of them around. The lady was very cool headed and she knew what to do. A very Canadian way of confronting the cat, "Bad Kitty". Polite but firm, "I'll fight you." Extra style points for using Metallica to scare off the cougar.

  10. Who here looked up the Metallica song?
    Spoilers: I did.
    Also: If I ever go hiking, I'll have that song for security reasons.

  11. I can't believe it. Seth Meyers actually was able to speak for four whole minutes without taking a swipe at Trump.

    Maybe this is a lesson and inspiration to others who have gotten comedy mixed up with propaganda. See? You can do it if you set your mind to it!

  12. I wouldn't have taken a chance with Metallica scaring off the cougar. I would have went with a sure bet…. Justin Bieber.

  13. Don't confound Canadians being nice with Canadians being easy prey. We tend to avoid fights until we make up our minds about the seriousness of the affair, then we tend to be single-minded toward our enemies' elimination.

  14. Canadians are polite , but that does not mean they are not tough or brave . In fact they are polite because they can afford to be . My sister jogs in bear country , runs into bears occasionally so she wears bells on her shoes to scare them off .
    No big deal , its just a bear or 2 or 3 . I am Canadian .

  15. I being an older and more pessimistic kind of person would have played cheek to cheek sung by Fred Astaire hoping the cougar was a female and perhaps inclined for some animal to human romance!

    Oh! I love to climb a mountain,

    And to reach the highest peak,

    But it doesn't thrill me half as much

    As dancing with a cougar cheek to cheek

  16. Canadians can fight, we just apologize before and after 🤷‍♀️.
    Really though, the average Canadian could beat up the average American. We learn to fight, we don't hide behind pistols.

  17. This sounds like something I would do. The other day, I was walking to work through an open field, like I do every morning at 3:00am. I knew there were coyotes in the area, but they never bothered me, so I didn't think about it. Until I hear one about 5 feet away from me. I picked up the biggest rock I could find (which wasn't very big at all), and yelled, "Hey! I have a rock! And I'm not afraid to use it!"

  18. This could have been a bloody,tragic mess and she is very lucky that "kitty" wasn't really hungry. I will hike in the wilderness with my pistol. Doesn't seem like she learned anything from the experience.

  19. Never hiked, hey Seth? What else could she do? Of course she finished her hike! 🤦‍♀️ I wear a lanyard with a super loud whistle around my neck on hikes. Much louder, and quicker than fumbling with a phone.

  20. Why ? would u hike; when you know what could be out there? And no protection. That’s crazy. At least have some kind of protection.

  21. Just fucking awful. Playing new Metallica probably would have scared the cougar away too, just for different reasons. I personally would have gone with "for whom the bell tolls" as my cougar fight song/reading material.

  22. I think it is gross when Giuliani imitates other people by stiffening his shoulders and rocking back and forth with his bi-colored teeth. His teeth are more bi-colored than corn

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