Top 10 Reasons The British Royal Family Is Awesome
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Top 10 Reasons The British Royal Family Is Awesome

August 23, 2019


The latest heir to the British throne is finally
here! Sadly, Prince William and Duchess Catherine
declined our request to be the first site with close-up photos of their bouncing baby
boy, so here’s a generic baby wearing a crown instead. Luckily, most every baby looks alike, so we
probably came real close. Sadly, if some party-poopers have their way,
the newborn King might never get a chance to reign. Arguments that the monarchy should be abolished
continue to pop up, and don’t show signs of going away. Well, in order to stop those dastardly Republicans
and their Cromwell wannabes, here are 10 reasons God should save the Queen, instead of letting
her get pushed out of a helicopter into an erupting volcano (we assume that’s how they’d
abolish the Monarchy if it came to that). 10. Tourism Revenue Attractions related to the monarchy bring
in roughly 500 million pounds a year from overseas tourists, which we’re told converts
into “a lot of sweet, sweet skrilla.” To be fair, many of these attractions are
physical buildings that presumably wouldn’t spontaneously combust if the monarchy was
abolished, but the continuity of the Royal Family helps keep them relevant. Two significant tourism attractions that weren’t
made of brick and mortar were Prince William and Kate Middleton’s Royal Wedding, and
the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. The former brought in an estimated 620 million
pounds, while the latter was believed to have injected 10 billion pounds into the British
economy. Think of all the tea, crumpets and other hackneyed
British stereotypes that could buy! The Jubilee was a massive success for British
tourism — the country could have announced the Year of Free Chocolate and Sexual Favors
and brought in less coin. More weddings and anniversary celebrations
will come in time, which means more big bucks are on the horizon. 9. They’re Cost Effective Okay, so the Royals brings in their fair share
of cold hard cash. But what good is that if they cost taxpayers
an arm and a leg? Well this may surprise you (if you don’t
read the titles of list entries for some reason,) but the monarchy is cheap enough to actually
turn a profit. It only costs British taxpayers 51 pence a
person, not counting the annual arm-and-leg tax, when the Queen gets to cut off the two
finest limbs in the land for use in building a monster. The cost fluctuates with the state of the
economy, so in tough times the royal budget is slashed, presumably with a halberd. Private funding, ruthless fiscal management,
and profits raised by royal projects also ensure the monarchy stays in the black. So unless the Queen is secretly bathing in
unicorn blood, wastefulness is one thing you don’t have to worry about. We know the British budget was keeping you
up at night, so you’re welcome. 8. Entertainment Value As a nation where the news media spent more
time covering the birth of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s child than it did the Syrian
Civil War, America understands the entertainment value of celebrities. Well, the Royal Family are the ultimate celebrities,
with scads of reporters dedicated to letting the world know about everything from the latest
on Prince George (we say they should’ve named him Spaghetti; that way every day would
be Prince Spaghetti Day,) to what Harry thought of his most recent bowel movement. And that coverage isn’t limited to Britain
— in America, the Royals receive more coverage than climate change, which is a bit ironic
considering that climate change is one of Prince Charles’ pet causes. But the point, aside from the fact that we
may all be very dumb, is that the world loves to hear about the Royal Family. We’ll eat up everything from scandals, like
Harry dressing as a Nazi for Halloween, to Prince Charles doing the weather report. If you need further proof of their popularity,
pay attention to how the Family is received by the public while on tour. William and Kate’s 2011 trip to Canada drew
huge crowds and massive amounts of media coverage, and was generally considered to be a roaring
success. Now, whether we should be paying so much attention
to them is up for debate, but Lord knows if we didn’t have them we’d just dedicate
more coverage to Tila Tequila, or whoever the hell is popular that minute. We might as well stick with the Royals and
keep things classy. 7. Extra Holidays and Parties Not every discussion of the Monarchy has to
come down to economics and international diplomacy. Some of its benefits are much simpler — more
royal celebrations mean more holidays, and that means less time at the office and more
time barbecuing spotted dicks, or whatever you’re supposed to do with them. Whether it’s a holiday that’s been celebrated
for centuries, like the Queen or King’s birthday, or a one-time bash like a Royal
Wedding, nobody’s going to say no to an excuse to sit on the couch and play video
games all day. Sure, republics have their fair share of holidays
too, but we’re not getting time off to celebrate Obama’s silver jubilee (because happiness
will be banned in the Atheist Communist Socialist Muslim dictatorship he’s planning, according
to credible sources we’ve seen on the Internet). Monarchies just have more fun. Some people, probably those who don’t get
invited to parties, will argue that extra holidays are bad for the economy. But as discussed earlier, the tourism value
of the Royals more than makes up for that. Also, get a life and go get drunk next Victoria
Day or something. Seriously, you guys. 6. Diplomatic Value One of the downsides of being a President
or Prime Minister is that half of your country didn’t vote for you, and therefore hates
you with a fiery passion usually reserved for rapists and puppy kickers. If you’re a leader of a world power, this
problem extends to foreign trips; it’s hard to improve relations with a country you’ve
recently ordered the bombing of. That’s an issue the monarchy can sidestep. The Royal Family is apolitical, so they can
represent their country’s culture without being a stand-in for controversial policies. It’s not a coincidence that the well-traveled
Royal Family represents a nation that, time and time again, is found to be one of the
most well-liked in the world. Sure, being an empire that once dominated
the globe is handy for spreading cultural influence, too. But having a bunch of fancy people who can
travel the world to judge crumpet competitions and give tea to orphans definitely helps. So no matter how unpopular British foreign
policy may become, the Royals are there to remind the world that the average Brit just
wants to watch footie and drink a lager, and also that British people do less stereotypical
things as well. 5. Charity Work It’s hard to motivate people to give to
charity. Sure, the happiness that comes from knowing
you helped improve a stranger’s life is nice, but wouldn’t a trip to the bar be
even nicer? You’re never even going to meet those whiny
war orphans. It’s only worse when you’re trying to
get people to volunteer their time, because who wants to pick up garbage from the beach
on a Sunday morning when they could be sleeping off a hangover? The Royal Family does their best to set a
good example, and for some of them charity is almost a full-time job. It’s impossible to determine exactly how
much financial benefit their work provides, though one study estimates that the Queen
helps bring in 1.4 billion pounds a year, which sure beats the two bucks you gave to
the latest office United Way drive. Regardless of that figure’s accuracy, nobody
disputes that the world has benefited from the Royal Family’s charitable work. For starters, there are the charities that
members of the Family started, such as Queen Elizabeth’s Foundation for Disabled People
which, you guessed it, helps abandoned circus animals find new homes. Royal charities do everything from providing
mental health services to military veterans, to teaching dance to juvenile criminals, because
apparently someone in the Royals really wants life to resemble Step Up. Then there are royal patronages, where a member
of the Family slaps their stamp of approval on an organization’s work, usually while
giving money or doing work for them in the process. Royal patronage is highly coveted, as it’s
seen as a credible public announcement that they’re making a difference. It also brings oodles of attention to issues
that would otherwise fly under the radar; Princess Diana shed light on AIDS during a
time when talk of the disease was still taboo, and also highlighted the underappreciated
seriousness of landmines, before finally reminding the entire world of the importance of seatbelt
safety. When a royal supports a charity, people take
notice, and we could always use more people seeing ways to improve the world. 4. Other Monarchies Are Doing Well Any modern debate about monarchies inevitably
revolves around the British royal family, much to the chagrin of King Harald V. But Norway, Sweden, Belgium, Denmark, Luxembourg,
Spain, the Netherlands and Japan, among others, all maintain their royal families, and most
are immensely popular. Really, can anyone not like King Carl XVI
Gustaf? And those countries are clearly doing something
right, as you’ll constantly find them near the top of development indices. The top four counties on the IDHI, one of
the best methods of judging a country like a prize pig at the county fair, are all constitutional
monarchies, and there are 11 in the top 20. The US doesn’t check in until 16th, right
behind Belgium, which prompted Albert II to send President Obama a communiqué reading
“Suck it!” (note: this probably didn’t happen). While there’s obviously much, much more
to making a country tick than to shove somebody onto a throne and hope for the best, we doubt
it’s a complete coincidence, either. Maybe it’s their slow, steady approach to
modernization and social change, unlike those uppity republics and repressive dictatorships. Or maybe people just work really hard when
there’s a chance a King will come by and give them a medal for it. That’s for the historians to decide. 3. They’re Popular Before you run off to the comments section
to paste in a quote from Wikipedia’s list of logical fallacies, we’re aware that just
because something is popular it doesn’t mean it’s any good. Popular opinion gave us Dane Cook’s career
and the Nazis, among other crimes against humanity. Following the mob can end badly. That being said, popular opinion on the monarchy
subscribes to the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” philosophy, with polls consistently
showing that the majority of the Queen’s subjects want the system to stick around. That’s not limited to people in Britain;
polls in Canada and New Zealand, among other Commonwealth countries, have found that most
people believe the monarchy remains relevant. One of the most pro-monarchy countries is
actually the United States, where one survey found that 71% of people believe that the
monarchy is good for Britain. In fact, 18% of Americans think that it would
be good for the US of A to have their own Royal Family, so apparently there’s a staunch
group of Loyalists in America who are still bitter about the Revolution. The popularity of the monarchy drifts around
based on economic conditions and the current gossip, but the general trend is that more
people remain in favor of the Royals than against it. And since they’re a pretty harmless bunch,
there’s nothing wrong with giving the people what they want. 2. The Queen is a Badass
When most heads of state inspect the troops, they shake hands and point at stuff. When Queen Elizabeth II inspects the troops,
she practices icing haters. Look at that photo. Look at it! Everything about it is wonderful, from the
Queen’s steely-eyed gaze to the soldier’s expression of amusement and pride. This is a monarch ready to kick ass and take
names. In an era where even the slightest faux pas
by a politician is torn apart on social networks and subject to hours of “analysis” by
the news media, our elected officials are rightly terrified by the prospect of embarrassing
themselves. The Queen doesn’t have to worry about any
of that crap. She can go out, do something awesome, look
rad as all hell, and make people proud to call her their leader. So whether she’s cruising around like she’s
about to commit a drive-by… … or starring in a short film with James
Bond … … we can always count on the Queen to act
like a stone cold boss. And sometimes that’s just what we need. 1. National Identity
We could argue about this issue all day, if we didn’t have better things to do. But when it comes down to it, the Royals are
an integral part of Great Britain’s national identity. Britain without the royals would be like France
without wine, or Russia without horrific human rights abuses. No wonder the majority of Brits believe they’re
a key part of what it means to be British. And really, if the Royal Family went away,
what else would the English be famous for? Bad food? A soccer league where only, like, three teams
are any good? Some third stereotype? No, the Royals give everyone, from the dapperest
rich man to the toughest football hooligan, something in common to be proud of (or complain
and gossip about.) If Britain gets rid of the Royal Family, who
knows what will happen? America might follow suit and get rid of hot
dogs and soft drinks, and then the whole world will just go straight to Hell.

Only registered users can comment.

  1. As an American, I think it would be best to keep the royal family. They so far show the best of what a constitutional manorchy can do. We only had a problem with George III and the parliament residing at the time 😀

  2. Separating the head of state and the head of government is a great idea. If the head of state can then be a non-partisan figure that’s even better.

  3. I liked, then unliked… just so I could like again😀 I will now go watch The Crown and Victoria simultaneously lol😀

  4. They found evidence that Edward IV was illegitimate and as such should never have been crowned. That makes every ruler since then has been illegitimate. That should make it easy to send them away but have them leave the money. But the bowing public will find it hard to lift off the yoke.

  5. I feel like this video was made as click-bait, but knowingly and so done with tongue in cheek. I felt like it was obviuos Simon's script didn't represent his personal views. Loads of people seemed riled though lol

  6. The Queen and her parents didn"t runaway and hide like other world leaders did in ww2. The Queen actually drove a truck while serving in the army!

  7. My COUNTRY, Cornwall/Kernow, was stolen by the English a long time ago – they ain’t my Royals (our last king died in the late 800s). I still like this bunch though.

  8. I love your royals in England! I would trade them for those disgusting Kardashians any day! Please, trade us! Oh, you can just have the Kardashians, free! Please!

  9. Of course they are relevant. Half of the worlds population is related to them as well as rekates to them. I love my cousins in the UK.even the ones without titles.

  10. The Queen is the biggest freeloader in UK. She lives off the back of the common man. People do not have devine right to rule over us via bloodline. It's anti democratic. Kill the royals, and lets have a national anthem about UK as a collection of countries and not one about the monarch.

  11. The United States is NOT a pro-monarchy country. And last time I checked, 18% is representative of the population of immigrants in the United States from other countries. The average American, like myself, finds the idea of a sitting Monarchy repulsive.

  12. queen Elisabeth father and mother never left London during WWII even when the city was bombarded every night. They showed courage and dedication to their country and their people. they showed what it really means being a monarch. I think people shouldn't forget that.

  13. The 18% of Americans who think America should have a royal family think that THEY should be America's royal family.
    The reason the British Royal Family is so popular in America, is that they are the real thing. Having rebelled against royalty, all that Americans have now are made-up Disney princes and princesses.
    Real beats made-up any day.

  14. Some year ago there was an exercise where a large group of, I believe, American college students listed the top twenty or so countries they would prefer to live in. Every one of the countries they chose was a constitutional monarchy.

  15. A citizen of the UK can't own one of those rifles in the thumbnail, so quit showing it off like it's cool cause it's not. Seriously I keep seeing that picture around the internet like it's supposed to impress me, and it's stupid because people from the UK are always criticizing the west for our gun culture.

  16. I'm British and we don't need them. They are a waste of taxpayers' money.
    All the argument for keeping them has been well and truly muted, having cited what has happened in other modern countries. They are undemocratic (not one single election for the Queen) and a throwback to the dark ages. I will always remember how they treated Diana!

  17. Its pathetic that the royal family is even seriously considered by the public today. Extremely pathetic.

  18. You forgot the idea of keeping calm and carrying on, a notably British attribute which is endorsed by the monarchy, as noted by the crown which historically goes with any poster spouting that slogan.

  19. absolute upvoted! great visual pun, with the 15 stars/15 strips US flag of the war of 1812, and battle of fort mchenry (key's national anthem inspiration). very sneaky!

  20. The Crown Estate is given over to the government at the beginning of each reign, is managed by the government and the profits go to the Treasury (many millions of ££). In return the sovereign receives an annual payment of 15% of these profits. So rather than costing the taxpayers money the Queen is giving 85% of HER income to the people. Not sure how this arrangement keeps getting forgotten in these debates. Sack the Queen and she might want her land back 😉

  21. Mr. Whistler (hope I spelled it right) this video was exceptionally entertaining! Besides, who can hate on a lovely woman in her 90's with such a colorful image.

  22. Replace the queen in the thumbnail with sarah palin and retitle it as "top 10 reasons US politicians are the worst". 😀

  23. Sometimes these people seem like chronic twinks and other times like decent sorts. "Our last king" , George III was actually a decent sort. Our history seems like a continuation British history. Both sides wisdom was evident, from the U.S. Civil War, to our eventual involvement in the First & Second World Wars.

  24. Now I have this image of Liz rolling through the hood with a Mac-10, all while wearing an enormous hat. LOL!!!

  25. The man who is a subject of a queen is claiming that US comes in 16th 😂😂😂. So if all you monarchy to countries are so much better than why don’t you all stop asking for us to bail you out financially. Pay for your own defense don’t ask us to help you in anyway shape or form. Because if you’re doing so much better than the US why are your hands all sticking out??? And why are you are screaming because we’re going to raise our Tariffs?? Wow I feel so sad that you all love the idea that you were ruled by individual. What a sad existence you live.

  26. And no most Americans do not like the coverage of the royal family. We Haidet that our media falls all over themselves about it. They try and ram it down our throat but we do not like it there is maybe a few million people out of the entire country that love that crap. The rest of us can’t stand it. We fought a war to separate ourselves from you. But some of these people in the media look at a Walt Disney movie and think it’s real. The Royals are nothing but a bunch of sycophants inbred welfare cases

  27. Majority of the queen subjects lol. You’re a subject lol. Wow!! I feel sorry for you that you will never know freedom.

  28. The queen owns your media. You don’t see her doing something embarrassing because she doesn’t allow it to be seen. You are her subject and you were only allowed what she allows you to see. Wow. You literally have slave chains on your brain if this is what you truly think. You are in bondage mentally.

  29. Is it even costing the UK any money? Last time I read about it the royal properties fund, which the Queen owns, contributed more to the budget than the royal family costs.

  30. Fascinating video, as always, Simon and crew. I wonder how the USA would respond to a monarchy, and then have elected Prime Ministers, etc. as in other countries. It would not be easy at first, I know that. But something has to be done. Our current way of government is simply falling apart, day by day. In 6 months, I would NOT be surprised if the USA were re-named TRUMPOPOLIS, for feck's sake. Pardon my language.

  31. Here’s a fun fact: America, the self proclaimed “Greatest country in the world”, houses 25% of the worlds prisoners.. the US has a population of 326 million and has 2.1 million prisoners, meanwhile the Chinese have a population of 1.4 billion and houses only 1.6 million prisoners. Another example would be India. But i’ll leave some research to you.
    Whoever thought America was the greatest country in the world, needs to read some facts. The US is slowly, but surely, falling behind the rest of us.. I would rather live in Russia than the US of A.

    Oh, and i know this was about Britain, long live the Queen!

  32. At least of all the tabloid targets at least the Royal Family is historically relevant. They may show pictures of the William and Kate's kids, but those kids are going to be historically significant because they will in the distant future become the ones who will follow in the footsteps of many kings and queens over the last thousand or so years. Incidentally the Queen herself served in the military during the war working with trucks so thus she is a veteran of WWII. So there.

  33. Sorry Simon, you made a bit of a mistake on number 2. The queen is not a badass, she is a total badass 😉 the lady rocks! Great video BTW

  34. Oh well I think House von Hohenzollern's got some princes to become "King of America"! (Prussia acutally tried this in the 18th century)

  35. Go have a Drink, of course, the number one hobby of British people, drinking alcohol. If the Royal Family is so amazing, Why is there such Poverty and Sickness among the British population? Why hasn't the Royal Family elevated the incomes of the entire nation to that of Luxembourg, and life expediencies to that of Japan? Because they prefer being massive, self serving parasites, that's why. They've allowed a $300Billion p/a NHS to profit from the sickness and disease among the general population. They introduced tobacco smoking and allowed the consumption of drugs and alcohol to become ingrained in the culture. The Royal Family care for nothing, but their own bank balance.

  36. But Most people are retards, Simon. So why take their opinion when it suits and disavow when it's not in your favour? Most people support the return of the death penalty and i think maybe even a ban on homosexuality. so when is that happening?

  37. You are great and your writers are wonderful. As an American who is now Canadian, I love the monarchy, especially the badass Queen. Thank you all.

  38. This was one out-of-the-box Simon. It almost made me want to rush out and buy a British flag. Well presented old chap.

  39. a really great video. but as someone who is deaf, its very annoying when who ever does your captions, adds there 2cents to whatever statement youre making. people need to understand alot of videos are like this with wrong captions and extra information that flashs to fast.

  40. The best form of government is an enlightened dictatorship but those are incredibly rare. The second best is a parliamentary monarchy.

  41. Britain without the Queen would be like Russia without the human-right abuses.

    I liked the joke about the Queen's disability charity.

  42. Anyone complaining that their hard earned money is taxed and going to support the royals who do nothing really needs to research how the revenue from the Crown Estate and Sovereign Grant works. The royal's funding is a set percentage of the revenue from the Crown Estate (started at 15%, think it is now around 25% for some repair/reno at Buckingham), with the rest of that revenue going to the parliamentary budget. The Duke of Edinburgh also gets a comparatively small annuity from the treasury. These funds support the family and the budget for the work they do. Beyond that, yes the family has income from some private holdings. There are also other public costs such as security and such as well – it can be a lot of numbers flying around and yes they are significant.

    The point here is, booting the royals out of office in no way means the UK government just magically gets the Estate lands which the Queen owns (though with limited direct control of their use) and have a total annual revenue in the 300 million pound range. The Estate currently both funds the royal family and adds ~225 million pounds directly to the government's budget. So unless there is some scenario which both removes the royal family and seizes all of their legally owned estate lands, removing them loses the government this revenue and potentially costs the taxpayer more, not less (depending on the balance of all the other costs for any given year).

    Of course the exact numbers of estate revenue, security costs and so on all change year to year, but bottom line is the royal family is hardly the money pit it might appear at first glance due to the both direct and indirect revenue it creates.

  43. Huh, fairly certain we fought two wars to not care about the royal family. . . and at least we came out on top, unlike Ireland. . .

  44. 'The U.S.A finishes right behind BELGIUM (for peete's sake)' As a belgian, I can agree with this point of view. How does anyone, let alone the USA, finish behind us in anything, srsly. We're the country that went without any gouvernment for over a year just a couple years ago goddamit.

  45. How much control does the queen actually have? If it’s equivalent to the role of the president I find that insane. You can have control of a country for centuries solely on the fact who your mommy and daddy is.

  46. Simon… With all due respect to your English mindset, we don't have 'Jubilees' for our presidents because they are elected (you know… a Republic rather than a Monarchy) and they are also tethered by term limits

  47. Anderlo I'm not better about the revolution but I do understand the benefits of a monarch rather than changing leaders every 4 years you have one person not changing paths

  48. Chuck Norris still asks permission from the Queen to use his roundhouse kick.
    He only lost vs Bruce Lee because Hong Kong was British at the time.

  49. Our Royal Family are awesome, the Queen especially. She has been working hard for this country for decades, still is. I don't know if I could work into my 70's let alone my 90's! The younger royals are also doing well, bringing the royal family into the 21st century slowly but surely. Love 'em.

  50. I've already said it once, but I'll gladly say it again. The queen absolutely IS A TOTAL BADASS! A fact her majesty has proven time & time again…

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